Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by Slipperyjoe, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

  2. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

  3. Jayaruh

    Jayaruh The Cackalacky House Pet

    Supporting Vendor
  4. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

  5. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    :happy102:
    And the engineer who says you have twice as much glass as you need.
     
  6. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    That engineer is being very transparent..:Animatedfrozensmily:
     
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  7. John Ruschmeyer

    John Ruschmeyer Well-Known Member

    From last night’s “Forged In Fire “...

    I bought a dog from a blacksmith.
    How did I know he was from a blacksmith?
    The first thing he did when I got him home was make a bolt for the door.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  8. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    That guy was painfully awkward. (I saw part of the episode.)
     
  9. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    The doctor is always quick with a pun when it comes to dialectics...
     
  10. Jayaruh

    Jayaruh The Cackalacky House Pet

    Supporting Vendor
  11. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    I suppose, if he’s sick, instead of an ambulance, he calls a toe truck.
     
  12. Erik Redd

    Erik Redd Lizabeth, baby, I'm comin' to join ya.

    Only if he can foot the bill, otherwise he has to thumb a ride.
     
  13. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    Not someone I would ask to lend a hand.
     
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  14. Eeyore

    Eeyore Well-Known Member

    That's nailing it.

    --
    Pitralon forever - Real pens have a nib - If it doesn't tick, it's not a watch.
     
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  15. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    Keithmax likes this.
  16. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    And the game's afoot!
     
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  17. Paul Turner

    Paul Turner outside the quote(s) now

    I can't avoid jumping in here with my two feet and saying it's getting to be time for another week-end of college and pro feetball :)
     
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  18. Erik Redd

    Erik Redd Lizabeth, baby, I'm comin' to join ya.

    The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."
    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
    10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
    12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"
    13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!"
    16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
    17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
    18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
    19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
    20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!
     
  19. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    OK... Deja Moo was a good one.
     
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  20. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    It makes me wonder if a Holy Cow says moolaluja.
     

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