Acquisition Disorders Clinic

I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to be cured yet.......


@HolyRollah

The only kind of curing I like is the curing of bacon.
Dude, may God always bless you in your pursuit of the perfect art, BACON!!!

 

I have an opening if anyone needs an appointment.

 

Dear MarshalArtist,

Since it is clear that you are opening shop here at TSD, I would like to make it clear that you need to have a vendor's status. Please contact me directly to set up an arrangement between us. I take merely 40% of your fees. Since I am Dutch *and* from Zeeland, Scrooge is a very generous man compared with me. Therefore you may consider me a hoarder of money.

 

I see. Forty percent of five cents US. Is…US$0.02 (I've no idea what that is in Guilders.) Since you've just given me your two cents (not tax deductible) I shall accept this as partial payment for this session and will expect the remaining balance within the week. Please note that tulips and sabots are not accepted as payment in kind, nor is lutefisk or any other pickled fish product.
That concludes our time for this session. Thank you for coming.

 

My shaving AD's are minor. I have 4 brushes, half a dozen razors that are collectibles and one razor each (for me & the hubby ) for shaving. But between us, we have 6 dozen arrows. We do NOT sufffer from AEAD (archery equipment acquisition disorder.) We enjoy it thoroughly.

 

In the immortal words of The Bard, "Me thinks the Lady doth protest too much." However, it is your nickel, so please do tell what brings you to the clinic if you emphatically do not have CHAD. Perhaps you like the decor? Maybe you just enjoy reading old issues of Reader's Digest in the waiting room? Possibly you passed by on your way to somewhere else, (like the archery shop), and thought you'd pop in for a chat?
In any case, our time is up for today. Don't forget to pick up your quiver at reception on your way out.

 

Actually, I came for the cookies.

 

Since taking on @Darkbulb as a patient, we have had to discontinue the cookies. We now have an assortment of cru d'été…

 

I can no longer in good faith recommend this cookie-less establishment.
I will, going forward, take my disorder challenges - and treatment - to Mrs Fields.

Not only does she have cookies but also a very relaxed air about her.

 

Assortment of crud what? No cookies, no couch!

 

As I told you, I will consider bringing them back if you will agree to clean up the crumbs you drop during your "C Is For Cookie" revue, and agree not to stab others with various shaving implements if they try to take one for themselves. You've also been asked to stop seeking other patients' advice about your persistent ammonia diaper rash. (Patient confidentiality prevents me from elaborating.)
Now it is time for my next patient's appointment. I wish you all good mental health.

 

There's just too many rules and demands! I can't take it!
This is why you have no patients left and having to shut down!

 

With the departure of my patient for whom they were an issue, it is safe for me to return the cookies to the general waiting area. They will no longer be in the custodial closet behind the dusting cloths and Lemon Pledge.

 

After reading several of these threads, I can see some people are falling off the wagon. I have one or two appointments available for this evening.
…and the cookies are back so there is incentive there as well.

 

Seeing what an issue this has been for many people over the years I can't but to wonder why there not just building better wagons.
Seatbelts anyone?

 

Mr. Bulb, I thought you were seeing Mrs. Fields now. (someone hide the in the usual place.)

 

Mr. Fields caught him with his hands in the cookie jar.

 

Bacon, cookies, and therapy all in the same thread......

God I love this place!

 

Therapy? I don't need no stinkin' therapy!