Baconageddon: The Impending Bacon Shortage

Nope, folks, you read the right. A bacon shortage may be of the horizon. I know, I know. I'm thinking the same thoughts: No! It can't be! It's a sign of the end of the world! It is the greatest single tragedy of our times! It's the Porkpocalypse!

But, major news organizations everywhere are starting to report on it.

From CNBC.com:
"(Updated 4:06 p.m. Eastern) The droughts that ravaged crops across North American and Russia have had a huge impact on the food supply, livestock and farmers but now it may be time to hit the “panic” button – one pig group is predicting a BACON SHORTAGE.
“A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable,” the National Pig Association in the UK said this week.
The droughts meant less feed to go around and farmers had to take drastic measures. One farmer fed his cows candy to survive, while others have pared their herds. The NPA warned that he number of slaughtered pigs could drop by 10 percent in the second half of next year and that could cause the price of pork products to DOUBLE."

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RIP Bacon ​

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I'm sorry...I didn't really read your post. I was too busy staring at the bacon.

I try and get all my meat/produce from local farms. Many smaller farms can handle these situations a little bit easier in the sense that they do not have as many pigs to be concerned about. In fact, bacon prices have been increasing in the store over the last year. I just got 10 thick slices for $2.65.

 

Mmm bacon.....

In Scotland and particularly the part I live in, a bacon butty wi' broon sauce is the food of champions for most non-vegetarians. Its a bacon sandwich with brown sauce and in our case the brown sauce is usually cheap nasty rubbish with more vinegar added. Surprisingly, this type of brown sauce is held in very high regard and is known as 'chippie broon' sauce to differentiate it from the usual HP brown sauce. More common than a bacon butty or sandwich is the bacon roll and that is not a pig losing its footing coming down a hill....

Och, I'm starvin' now!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! /scared

 

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RIP Bacon ​

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*Looks at pic...​

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What a minute...Is that bacon Jenga? lol​

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On behalf of your county, you have just made up for haggis.​

 

Shooting season for Haggis starts soon ye ken. Get yer porridge gun oot an' have at the wee beasties! Now a muckle Aberdeenshire roll with bacon, haggis, black pudding and egg. Now yer talkin' an' nae sauce needed there, big yin.

Despite eco-activist and animal rights campaigners insistence, the wild Haggis is NOT an endangered species and continues to thrive on Scottish hillsides almost everywhere as its low centre of gravity enables it to hide amongst the heather. Additionally, having legs on one side of its body that are shorter than the other makes the animal extremely agile on the higher, steeper peaks.

A poor example of a stuffed Haggis from Pentlands hills area near my home:

 

Great now I want a roll and slice with onions GRR... lol

 

Hmmm...

It's the most delicious Jenga tower I ever saw. I'll bet that tower never hits the table when it falls!

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Oh come on, now. Haggis contains all the best parts of the sheep: heart, liver, lungs. ​

 

Hmmm - saw an ad for weaner pigs down at the corner store... may have to grown me some bacon!

 

No bacon? Ateries everywhere will open up in shock!

 

Aye but you see, what makes life easier for us Hunter's o' the Haggis was the timely invention o' the porridge gun. You can see from above that the coat o' these beasties varies greatly and ordinary shot can pass straight through that mound o' nonsense but a guid blast o' the porridge gun slows the wee deils right down. You can see an adapted porridge gun used to reasonable effect in Wallace & Gromit's A Close Shave but for stopping haggis scoticus vulgaris in its tracks, ye cannae beat it. It no use however, agin the sea Haggis, haggis scoticus marinus.

Now for a bit sport but you might need to copy and paste the address into your browsers bar:

http://www.holistech.co.uk/haggis.php

 

Be there any Haggis farms, or is there no Haggis husbandry?

 

Naw, ye cannae farm the Haggis, jist catchin' the boogers is hard enough! They're true creatures of the wild and vary from region to region both in behaviour, appearance and the landscape they inhabit. Anyhoo, I reckon if they could be farmed you'd lose some flavour very likely. Like wild, line caught Salmon from a fresh river as opposed to the farmed kind kept in big pens and fed pellets. Same goes for its salty cousin the Sea Haggis and although experts agree that they are very similar, it is much debated which evolved from the other. Did the wee beastie crawl oot the sea and up a hill or did it fall doon the hill intae the sea? Many's a Haggis man has been fired oot the pub for getting intae fights o'er the origins argument. As to husbandry, you'll have to ask the wife. She's as feisty as a cornered Haggis anyday!

P.S. The Honey Badger does care - its feared o' the Haggis!

 

Haggis neither give nor are given in marrige.

 

One day this US based Gordon will have to go back to the highland home of the Gordon clan and connect with my roots... Perhaps I can hire a guide to help me hunt the Haggis? I would surely like to bag one of these beasties! I could use my snipe gun...

 

Speyside by the Whisky. Too dangerous country for me. Would get lost for weeks, mired in a light golden brown haze......