Kids Say (and do) the Darnedest Things

Some of us will remember the old Art Linkletter Show "Kids Say the Darnedest Things." You don't have to be a grandparent to enjoy some of the things our children do. Sometimes my 4(½) [gotta get that in] grandson is such a hoot that I include it in some of my posts. I would be interested in reading about the foibles of others kids or grandkids. Shaving related or not.

 

When I was a child, my father was an ordained Baptist deacon. One Sunday, the pastor was teaching from Revelation, about the millennial reign of Jesus Christ. My Dad looked down at me (I was 6), he notices tears in my eyes. Asking what was wrong, he says this is what I said to him:

"How can I go out and play if Jesus is going to make it rain for a thousand years? "

 

When my daughter was 5 or so she had trouble pronouncing her Rs. They came out as Ws. She was telling me about a dream she had and said: There was this big twee. And I said Tree. She said there was this big twee, and again I corrected her and said TRRREEEE. She sighed and said, there was a big bush...

 

Seems that 4, 5, and six somehow is that certain age when there is a growth and awareness spurt.
My grandson is a numbers kid. He counts to 100 with no problem except he always skips there number fifteen, 13, 14,...16, 17. I've always corrected him (which, thank the Lord, he does take so readily) but 15 still always gets skipped. I asked him why he does so. His reply, "Dzia Dzia, I don't like it."
I love kids.

 

Many years ago my wife was driving with my son, who was around four. She remarked " Oh look at the full moon!" He gave it some thought for a minute or so and asked "What do moons eat?"

 

When our oldest son was approaching 2, I remember having him in my lap and going through the alphabet with him. I actually recorded the session on a cassette at the time but it is lost, but will always be in my memory. I would say, "A," and he would say, "Aaaaa..." I would say, "B," and he would repeat, "Beee." He would stretch out the letter. We were doing very well. Skipping forward, "S," ... "S" .... "T," ... "T." "U," and with a big smile "Meeee!"

 

My wife was explaining to me 3 year old daughter that before she was born she had lived inside her mummy's tummy. My daughter thinks about this for a second. Then turns to my wife and says,
"Did you eat me Mummy?"

 

One of my friends (a fellow biology teacher) has a daughter Deana, now in college. But when Deana was about 7, her teacher was pregnant, and explained to the class that she had a baby in her tummy. Little Deana's response was "My mommy is a science teacher and she says that babies grow in a uterus."

 

She probably remembers, too.

 

My daughter when she was about 3 walked up to a very pregnant woman and told her "It's OK that you are so fat right now. You will eventually lay a baby and it will be all better." I was totally mortified. The woman laughed so hard thank goodness.

 

This is a great thread.

 

My three year old said " I need some purple toothpaste, then I can be a witch."
Apparantly witches use purple toothpaste, who knew.

 

I woke up to the repetitive sound of "Ow. Ow. Ow . Ow. ." Then I realised it my own voice I was hearing in response to a tiny fist gently banging on my leg. I looked at the three year girl who was happily banging away at me. I reminded her of the rule which is when someone says Ow you stop.
She looked at me with a big smile and held up the fist that had now ceased to hit me. There was a small teddy bear clenched in that tiny fist.
She says " But it's not me it's teddy."
And then carries on hitting me. It didn't hurt,and I tried to remain serious but I was too busy laughing.

 

My 5 year old grandson was watching me clean up after my shave yesterday. He loves all my gear. I asked him if he wanted it all after I pass. He said, " Sure Dzia Dzia, and after you pass I'm going to marry Gramma."

 

I just explained to me three year old about Christmas and how you can ask Santa for gifts if you've been a good girl. I asked her is there anything she would like. She thought for a minute and said
" A Flower. One real one and a toy flower."
Although she couldnt tell me what colour flower she wanted as that was a secret.

 

It's a trap!

 

Well she's writing a letter to Santa this weekend. Well she will be drawing her list, so I can see what colour flowers she wants. Just hoping it's not rainbow coloured

 

So I a few years ago when my eldest daughter was about 3 or 4 I was helping her learn English during dinner. I was trying to get her to say "Please can I have a fork."
Well, she pronounced the whole sentance correctly,except for the word fork. Every time she tried to say fork she ended up saying the other F word. The one no Dad wants to hear his little girl say.
We kept working diligently on that one.

 

* flippers crossed *

 

So today my 7 year old son Noah told me...

"Dad my beard is growing and I need to shave it off"

One of the proudest days of my life...lol

Here is a pic of my future wet shaver.

**Please Note the razor DIDN'T have a blade**