Murphy's Law

I imagine that most of you are familiar with Murphy's Law, which says, "Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you expect. And if anything can possibly go wrong, it will, at the worst possible moment."

I have a few favorite variants on the theme, such as;
1) Flanagan's corollary- Murphy was an optimist.
2) Paper is strongest at the perforations.
3) There are 2 kinds of dirt; the light kind, attracted to dark-colored objects and the dark kind, attracted to light-colored objects.

Let's see some of your favorites. Just remember to keep it clean, please.

 

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item,
after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

After you bought a replacement for something you've lost
and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.

The probability of being observed is in direct proportion
to the stupidity of ones actions. (Doh!)

 

Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

 

There are a lot of military ones:

1. Five second grenades have three second fuses.
2. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
3. Friendly fire isn't.
4. Incoming fire has right of way.
5. Don't worry about the bullet with your number on it; worry about the thousands of others addressed to Dear Occupant.

One of my favourites: Nothing is too simple to screw up.

And one supposedly of Einstein's: Only two things are infinite -- the universe and human stupidity. And I am not so sure about the universe.

 

Bell's Theory: The phone doesn't ring until one's body is immersed in water.

Boyle’s Laws – 1) The first pull on the cord will always send the drapes the wrong way.
2) Anything sore will be bumped more often.

 

On a related note: "Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder."

 

Hold my beer and watch this...

 

The amount of stuff you have grows in direct proportion to the amount of space you create.

 

Anything that comes out of a container will never fit back into the same size container.

 

It doesn't work that way with hair on my head. I have lots of space, but very little hair.

I think Murphy's law for hair is something like this:

The hair you desire it'll be the first to fall out and the places you don't want it; it'll grow like a weed.

I like to say ... God only puts marble on the best furniture!

 

Good point!!

I understand the hair problem.....

 

Bruce Willis: God has a sense of humor. When a man reaches 50, god takes the hair from his head and sticks it in his ears...

 

Cats will be most fond of people who are allergic to them.

 

Murphy was probably a friend of Marvin's..

 

Dogs will inevitably stand on the rug I am trying to remove for cleaning. Never fails.

 

This is one of the truest statements on here.

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If a dog must throw up, it will look for the carpet.

 

My take on Bell's theory: the cell phone never rings unless it is in your pocket and your arms are full.

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One of Murphy's Laws of Combat:
A sucking chest wound is God's way of telling you to slow down.