Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by Slipperyjoe, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    I've noticed a propensity for punning that seems to have lately, surfaced at the Shave Den. In the spirit of things, I've decided to launch a thread entirely devoted to the fine art of the pun. I read that Freud considered punning the lowest form of wit. I don't know about that, but they sure can be fun. So I invite you ladies and gentleman to load up your puns, take aim and fire. You can make up your own or post ready made ones. And..comments, articles, tags, links..anything that has to do with the humble pun. Just to get the ball rolling, here's a few favorites..:D
    *I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
    *I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me..
    *Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too..
    *Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane..
    *I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
    *Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed..
    *To write with a broken pencil is pointless..
    *A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it..
    *Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
    *A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired...
    *I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down...
  2. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire Staff Member

    Moderator
    *I dropped my toothpaste. I was crestfallen.
    *I had to get rid of my dogwood tree. The bark was driving me crazy.
  3. PLANofMAN

    PLANofMAN COTQ Instigator

    Article Team
    *I was studying to be a barber but I just couldn't cut it.
  4. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    Looks like the tree's bark was worse than it's bite...
    You might have done better in a hair conditioned barber shop...
  5. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

  6. sol92258

    sol92258 I have no earthly idea Staff Member

    Moderator
    I was expecting some of these to look familiar, but no pun in ten did....
    Linc, ILove2Shave, PatrickA51 and 7 others like this.
  7. 5Savages

    5Savages Well-Known Member

    Great thread, I love puns!

    A couple of years ago our local newspaper held a pun contest. I was fired up. I love puns and I love coming up with them. I immediately sat down and come up with a half dozen clever puns. With some more thought and effort, I came up with 4 more and mailed them off the next day..

    I was pretty proud of what I came up with and was confident one of my puns would take 1st place, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
    macaronus and Slipperyjoe like this.
  8. 5Savages

    5Savages Well-Known Member

    You stole my thunder!
  9. Duckster

    Duckster Wabbit Season!

  10. PLANofMAN

    PLANofMAN COTQ Instigator

    Article Team
    You know I go to quote you and all of the sudden the link works? This calls for:
    [​IMG]
    macaronus likes this.
  11. Art Vandelay

    Art Vandelay Active Member

    I expected this thread to just be sew sew, but it's got me in stitches.
    macaronus and Slipperyjoe like this.
  12. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire Staff Member

    Moderator
    I feel like a broken vase, because you all are cracking me up!
    dougr, Switchermike and macaronus like this.
  13. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    According to Wikipedia, Shakespeare was reputed to have included more than 3000 puns into his works..Here is an example from Shakespeare's Richard III:
    "Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York" (Son/sun)..do you get it..eh..?...
    macaronus likes this.
  14. Hirsute

    Hirsute Active Member

    I saw a dermatologist about a nasty red patch on my skin. I asked it would get better, but he said he didn't want to make any rash promises.
  15. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire Staff Member

    Moderator
    I make puns that are corny, but the ones from my ophthalmologist are cornea.
    macaronus and Slipperyjoe like this.
  16. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

  17. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    Oye..I can see the irony here.. and it's not pretty..
    KSBJG.jpg
    macaronus likes this.
  18. Smott

    Smott Chew your shave. Slowly.

    When I found this thread, I was like a cow in tall grass.

    I was udderly tickled.
  19. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire Staff Member

    Moderator
    Planning to milk this for all it's worth, are you?
    BamaT, Switchermike and macaronus like this.
  20. Smott

    Smott Chew your shave. Slowly.

    How dairy you suggest I am just trying to milk this! Angus anyone's wondering, I happen to do this with the bessie of intentions!

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