What do you call a snobbish inmate going down the stairs? ********************************* A condescending con descending.
A man decided to call his toilet the Jim instead of the John. He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday.
A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8:00 p.m. he sees a General standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. "Do you know how to work this thing?" the General asks. "My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it." "Yes, sir," says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the General, and feeds it in. (PAUSE) "Now," says the General, "I just need one copy....."
As we all know, Al Einstein was a genious, brilliant. You might say he was a man who was outstanding in his field, but I have yet to see a photo of him standing in a field.