Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

OOOOOHNOOOOO

 

Is that a rigid rule?

 

No, it's on a sliding scale.

 

So it's a slide rule?

 

The only rule for slides is to never use a metal one on a hot summer day.

 

If you do, you’ll need a Tushie transplant.

 

A rear end re-do!

 

Hmmm ... So would that be fiberglass or, in the spirit of Halloween, cadaver? Got to figure that at least some models are well out of stock.

 

I'm off to my autopsy club.
It's open Mike night.

 

A pizza delivery happened last night. In feetball terms, the deliverer "took it to the house".

 

It got bloody good reviews.

 

Sara's a real cut-up.

 

She's like a real surgeon.

 

Ah, I just left a friend of mine, he runs an all-night billiard academy near the cemetary. Yes after midnight he uncovers the ghoul table. But no rough stuff at his place. No, he settles all arguments by arbitration -- simply lifts the shroud and points at they haven't a leg to stand on. Believes in the old motto that a fiend in need is a fiend indeed!

 

I asked the nurse if I could sew my own stitches.

She said “Suture self”.

 

How do you know the sex of a chromosome?

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Pull down its genes.

 

How much does a grandpa weigh?

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A little more than a Gram.