What things should every dad teach their son.

Some of the fundamental principles for life that every dad should do his best to help instill in his son(s):

Integrity
Patience
Kindness
Humility
Respect
Forgiveness
Generosity
Faith
Perseverence
​

And I think all of these require courage. Contrary to popular belief, I'm still working on some of these myself (I'm glad I've mastered humility at least)

Some specific things I want to teach my son:

How to fish
How to cook
How to shave
How to swim
How to ride a bike
How to throw a football
How to change a flat tire
How to whistle [slash]at the cute kindergarten chicks[/slash]
...
​

etc etc I guess none of these are necessarily essential for a quality life, but they are things I look forward to doing or have already done with my son.

 

This thread may help a bit.

http://www.theshaveden.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1328

 

For some reason, I often "miss" with my handshake. I have no idea how, but the other guy closes his hand too soon and I end up only getting my fingertips into the shake. I always fee like a total tool when it happens.

 

This is actually interesting.

Many cultures do not shake hands, nor do they kiss.

Like our Southern area here in the US, a good firm handshake is expected. A limp one gets you talked about in the shaving forums.

Other cultures it is a dishonor to look someone in the eye. Ours it is disrespectful not to.

My childhood best friend married an Italian from New York. I visited them. I've never kissed so dang much, men, women, child, elder....even the dog. Everyone kisses. On the cheek and on the mouth, I observed that often depended upon the closeness in relationship.

Grandmother and Mother got a lip kiss....others on the cheek.

Okay, I'm tired of blabblin' about this crap.

 

My girlfriend is from chile and when her mother and sister came up to Texas to visit and started kissing me on the cheek I was a fish on land I tried to kiss both cheeks and they started laughing and implying I was a pervert as far as I could tell, all I could do is laugh along.

 

How about how telling your son how to prepare for his first Spring Break with his buds? My dad didnt but i sure will inform my son. Alot of stuff happens that i wasnt prepared for! I wont get in the hand shake thing. I will say they though.....if you are a man....shake like a man.

 

Handshakes are an indicator of self-confidence, not a show of manliness. Too strong of a handshake is just as bad as the "weak" handshake when you are making assumptions about someone. That said, it would be a better thing to instill self-confidence in a child (boy or girl as it is just as important today for women to present their self-confidence as it is for men) instead of just teaching the indicators.

Not all cultures is it acceptable to look someone directly in the eyes unless you are looking for a fight. Also some cultures it is not acceptable to even stand that close to someone to be able to properly shake someone's hand. Our world is becoming smaller and smaller and it is becoming more important to teach our children about being polite and acceptable when dealing with other people's culture.

I feel that it is also important that you teach the idiom "You can't judge a book by its cover" and explain how it is bad to make quick assumptions about someone based off of their appearances or first impressions. Always allow someone to be able to fully present themselves before you draw your conclusion of them or their opinions.

All of that being said, I am no longer able to shake someone's hand firmly anymore and really don't care for shaking hands at all. It has nothing to do with hygiene but is caused by a disability that I have. If I do shake someone's hand it is weak and if they use too firm of a grip they can cause me great pain and possible cause me loss of my finger(s) or hand. I am quite sure that I have had many people make assumptions about my self-confidence or manliness because of this. I should feel offended by this but I don't. I actually feel sorry for them and their ignorance.

 

Well said, Bram, I concur with your way of thinking; most admirable.

Perhaps, the man at the bar only gave as firm a hand shake as he thought the recipient deserved. An intriguing thought. I may start practicing this technique myself, now. In fact, I think I'll begin shaking hands as if my hand were made of a sort of mellow jello. No need to rise to an aggressive or "manly" occasion to prove oneself.

Yes, I think this is a good way to be.

 

I've known a few really large guys in my life; not fat, just tall and big - guys that could crush a normal human. All of them, without exception, shook hands very gently, with no real grip at all. I admired them for that. Didn't make me think they weren't manly or lacked self confidence. Gotta agree with you, Bram. Well said.

 

I'd teach my son that it isn't only about how he acts around others, but how he acts when he thinks that nobody is around.

I'd teach him that being popular and being right quite frequently do not go hand in hand, and that the latter is more important in the long run.

I'd teach him that when he is having a hard time with something, the only thing inexcusable is to quit trying. As Goethe put it, "Es irrt der Mensch, so lang er strebt" - translated, as long as man strives, he will err. But doing nothing should not be an option.

Honesty. Telling the truth can overcome most problems you will encounter.

Find a good woman, and then hold onto her for all its worth. The best ones are worth waiting and working for. And disregard anybody who tells you to practice on the ugly ones. (sorry, I just was kind of disgusted by that statement)

Don't demand or even expect anybody to respect you. Act honestly, be fair and just, help out wherever you can. Then, it doesn't really matter who respects you. You can respect yourself, and at the end of the day, that, and the love of your wife and kids is what matters. A real man does not demand respect, he earns it.

Nobody owes you anything. Get that out of your head. If there is something you feel you want or need, and you don't get it, don't point the finger of blame at anybody but yourself. If you work really hard for it, and still don't get it, you still end up ahead, and maybe you didn't really need it in the first place. Maybe I'll watch Rocky Balboa with him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY

Being smart does not just mean you know how to do something, rather that you know both how and when to do something, or even if you should do it. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Finally, I will tell him that one of these days, he'll be grown up with a family of his own, and then he will understand.

Sorry, I ranted for quite some time. I'm running on little sleep and jet lag, which puts me in a philosophical mood - if I read this tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, it will probably all seem like incoherent babble.

 

I am also a big man, a very big man. I still give a firm and proper handshake to no matter who I meet for the first time. I still understand that some men are shy with someone they meet for the first time.

 

I give a firm handshake as well and I think a lot of people here confuse that with I'm trying to crush some ones hand. You can tell how firm or soft to give a handshake on a case by case bases.

 

I think Dad's should teach their kids how to spell.

 

If I had a son, I'd teach him how to fetch me a cold beer, light me up a cigar, bring in the newspaper and turn on the tv. Oh, and make a pot of coffee in the morning, the kid's gotta know how to do that too!

Just kidding!