Right around my 30th birthday I decided to do something I had always wanted to do, but never had the courage--grow a beard. Doesn't seem like a big deal to most people, but to me it was because I was raised in a very strict religious home and taught all my life that men were not supposed to have facial hair. For me to grow a beard was going to be seen as an act of rebellion by many among my family and loved ones, and some of them--especially my parents--were going to have an unpleasant response to it. I'm the kind of person who likes to know why he's doing what he's doing, so after much soul searching I came to the definitive conclusion that it would not be to spite anyone, it was just something that I wanted to do; I don't agree with the idea that men should not have facial hair, and I want facial hair. That was really about it. So I had a beard for two years, and I must say an awesome beard it was. I was very proud of it. I had heard other guys talk about how they couldn't imagine the thought of shaving their beard--they had developed an emotional attachment that was as strong as the physical one. I soon came to relate with that, and so I settled the issue in my mind that I was to be a bearded man, probably for the rest of my life. Throughout the life of the beard, I tended to change it up from time to time--length, style, full beard, goatee only ... pretty much any way you can think of. I would just get bored with it after a few months and change it up. Then I discovered wet shaving, got really interested in it, bought some gear, and fell in love with it so much that I decided to bring about the demise of my beloved beard just to clear out all the real estate I could to lather up and mow it all down instead of having to stay within the slim confines of the neck and upper cheek. It just wasn't enough. I wanted more to shave! So here we are, about 8 or 9 months down the road, loving my wet shaving hobby more than ever, and I find myself wanting to change it up again. Only problem is, I was born with only one face, and you can't change up clean-shaven. It got me thinking: why do I want to change it up? And I figured it out. It's because I'm going on my 33rd birthday at the end of this month, and I don't want to look like Mr stuffy, uptight, clean cut good guy who pays his taxes and never, ever says swear words and always asks the blessing before dinner and loves his momma. Nothing wrong with those things, and nothing wrong with people who look like that, I just don't want to look like that. Not right now. At least for a while. There are some older, wiser gentlemen and ladies here. I want to know two things: does anyone else share this compulsion to change your appearance, and if not, is it just immaturity on my part, or maybe a lack of a strong personal identity? I'm not entirely, 100% ready to alter my behavior based on the merits of maturity, but it is something I take into consideration.
i had no desire to change my appearance after having a goatee for 10years/ & whatever you call just hair on your chin........it was just difficult for me to keep the lines straight w/ a DE....i got them crooked one morning & shaved it off the next. i like the feel of a smooth chin now...doesnt itch nearly as much not much insight here..but i can grow it back **edit...ill be 35 in a few days...not much older or wiser
I completely understand. I had beard envy for a number of years, but unfortunately I was born without good beard growing genes so I have mostly been clean shaven. If you want a new look, yet still want to satisfy your wet shaving addiction, grow a beard and shave your head. You get the best of both worlds and a great look too boot.
I'm near half your age and, believe it or not, I've been thinking along the same lines for months now. I really enjoy the look of facial hair on me but shaving is something assumed for me thanks to my job and parents background. Once this semester starts and i'm away from everyone, i'm going bear style. I miss my long hair too. Gotta think about yourself every once in a while, right?
I've always liked facial hair, and in my 20's up till around 35-36 would grow a goatee and then shave it off every couple of months. When I hit 36 I grew the circle beard and it has remained till this day. Lately I've been lurking on the beard board forums and the thought of growing a yeard is a growing urge, as I've never tried to grow a full beard. What this has to do with your questions I have no idea, but maybe some of us are just destined to sport some sort of facial hair. When you get a few years older you'll probably settle on a style and maintain that most of the time. I think I'll try growing one during next seasons hockey playoffs and see how it looks.
I'm not partial to facial hair for myself, it works for some men, not so much for others. In my case, it's more a matter of comfort than appearance, although it's not a look I'd pick for myself either. I used to give my face "a rest" from shaving for a few days sometimes, when I could, balancing the discomfort of stubble against the discomfort of shaving. Now that I've learned to shave properly, I no longer need those rests, and shave every day. Not really sure what would result if I took two or three weeks away from the razor to start a beard. I'm just glad to live in a time and place where a particular look is not mandatory.
My father had a beard every winter. Then a stach every spring then clean shaven every summer... However once he hit probably... 40 or so he stoped... Might have been the grey in the beard or what not. He loved his beard grew it every year became a thing. Sort of like your the guy with the orange shoes. Your the guy with the kick butt beard. . I think it is personal preference, many people change their look all the time. I know many people dye hair monthly different colors (although mostly female but not only the higher species ). I just believe do what you want, if you want to change it up go for it. If you want to keep a long beard that goes to your stomach... go for it. If you want to be clean shaven and smooth go for it. I am the later... for now might do something similar to what my father did when i become older.
Up until about 3 or 4 years ago I always changed my facial hair. A couple of months I would be clean shaven then grow a goatee then a full beard. The full beard didn't last long because my wife didn't like it. "when are you going to shave that thing", she would say. Anyway, like I said, that stopped about 3 or 4 years ago when my beard was more grey than anything else. Now that I will be turning 40 in about 3 weeks and I am entrenched in my new hobby I don't see myself going back to changing my appearance with regard to facial hair and I'm not complaining one bit.
I seem to have an issue with changing things up quite often as well. I started clean shaven, with short hair. Then grew a goatee, then a full beard, back to a goatee but I shaved my head, then full beard with shaved head, then shaved face and head. I'm back to my usual goatee and shaved head due to gray hair starting to poke through on the dome. Not sure why I feel like I need to change it up but there are days when I'm lathering up in the mirror and just decide, alright, everythings coming off. Or vice versa.
"good beard growing genes" Ha, it could be worse. The men in my family have kept genetic a secret for generations. We have all been VERY conscious shavers, sometimes twice a day. It's only in later life (50s-60s) that we can relax, skip a few shaves and grow some facial hair.: The hair is there alright when we're younger, it's just that we need to wait for our hair to turn gray before we dare let it grow. To a man, we are/were black headed with a blonde mustache and a fire engine red beards. :happy102 My wife calls us calicos.
I feel for you Greg. I have dark brown hair and bright red facial hair. My mother has a picture of me when I was a youngster. She had some fun torturing me. I was sitting on a black leather couch, wearing a brown plaid leisure suit, next to our Great Dane (Goofus), with a bright red afro. She rather enjoyed showing that picture to any and all guests. The hair on my head darkened, but my crappy facial hair never did....
I was at a wedding this weekend, a college roommate of mine asked me to be one of his "groomies", and he got married at the college chapel. While there, his other two "groomies" started talking about beards - they are twins, one grows a beard, the other doesn't. I started thinking back to when I first got to college there: The year was 1995, I had always shaved due to a no facial hair policy in high school. And I have never particularly liked my appearance. One day while applying a slathering of Barbosol, I thought "I have no reason I *have* to shave...", and promptly rinsed the foam off my face, and let it grow. Two weeks later I'm on my way home for the weekend with a full beard, and the surprise on my family's face was priceless Anyway, the thought hit me that the last time I had shaved my mustache and goatee was here at college, 16 years ago. I instantly felt better about my appearance when I grew it back then, got a lot of compliments, and even some dates . I'm fortunate to be able to grow a pretty good beard. I keep it to the goatee in the Summer, but let it grow in the Winter. And until I started DE shaving, the only razor shaving I did was on my neck, and just used the beard trimmer on my cheeks to get it shorter for the hotter months. I guess what I'm getting at is I don't think it's immaturity on your part, or lack of identity, but rather finding something you like, or just changing things up. If you're in a situation where there's nothing on the line that could be affected by changing so often, then no harm, no foul. You're only about a year younger than me, but I no guys older than me in that change theirs up fairly frequently, too. You may just be the type of personality that gets bored with non-critical things pretty easily and likes a variety.
I'm not alone???? Thank you, Lord!!!!!! Dark brown hair, mix of red and brown eyebrows, same for the sideburns. Beard goes from jet black in the center of my chin to red at the cheeks and then blends into the red/brown mix of my sideburns. Now, of course, there are white patches cropping up everywhere. I change up my look with the seasons...van dyke in summer, shorter beard in fall and spring, full longer beard in winter. Sometimes I'll mess with it and grow a full in summer or cut it back in winter. Heck, I can go from clean shaven to full beard in about 8 days so it's no biggie for me. It mainly depends on my mood. I've shaved completely 3 times in the past 18 years, and that was just because of a skin problem that cranked up bad enough to make me. It's a genetic thing so not much I can do about it :sick007
I shaved my head every day for many years, and about three years ago I grew a full circle beard and really, really liked the combintaion. In December I decided to quit shaving my head and now, 7 months later my hair is getting really long and I am thrilled with it. I'm 55 with a full head of hair without a receding hairline and no grey in it, although there is a little grey in my beard. I'm just going to let it keep growing and see how long it gets. I think it's great to change things up sometimes, I don't see it as immaturity at all. It's your face and hair so it should be up to you to wear it however you see fit.
You are Right Well Art, Tom and Sol, hit it the nail right on the head. No worries with you at all, it is all good and you do what feels best because sometimes it feels good to say WTF or not, respecting your beliefs, and remember that 6 months from now it may all change again. The best part...doing it without guilt and for you...the second best part...you can start your new hobby all over again, and again, and again, as many times=months YOU decide and that is pretty cool or in my case how ever long I could last without picking up a brush, making the lather, and the whole process, shall we say the art of the trade that allow us/me to be in the bathroom for extra half hour or more doing what we do. btw-has nothing to do immaturity. You are just thinking too much about it. Maybe you still love the art of wet shaving too much to give a beard a try for now. I know I do, that and the grays bug the hell out of me. Hardly no gray up top for me and mostly all gray in my beard. I hate that. So forget that your Birthday is coming and see what happens. Maybe you will get that "awesome " beard back, well just because and simply put, you want it. (and if I might add, before the gray's start to really show) or... you still love Wet shaving and learning the way where it hurts to put down the brush and blade from the yearning to hit that bathroom everyday and not just for # 2, but I can tell you what ever your own/won psychoanalysis brings you too, you will be 100% correct! The Best, howlwolf (Mitch)
My facial hair history: Late 70s-early 80s, full, thick porn star moustache. Mid-late 80s, full beard, almost achieving honorary ZZ Top status. Total mountain man. 1990 - trimmed the beard short and started wet shaving the neck and cheeks. New Years Eve 1999/2000, shaved off the sides of the beard and turned it into a Van Dyke, or "circle beard" as some of you call it. I've never heard that term before reading here. Goatee portion of my van dyke grew increasingly more Fu Manchu until around 2007, when I trimmed it right back. I've kept things short and trim ever since. I've occasionally toyed with the idea of shaving off the lower part, and just leaving the moustache... I might get away with that, but I have a pathological fear of shaving off the moustache and being totally clean shaven. Don't know why. The thought of direct sunlight on my upper lip is terrifying. The ultimate public nakedness.
Art, this is really well written, and I totally sympathize. I'm currently in the awkward stage of growing out my hair. Why I'm doing this, at the age of (almost) 35, is beyond me. I've given up on my dreams of being a rock-star, but it still holds some strange appeal. I've never had a beard, but always wanted one, and yet was too self-conscious to start one. Perhaps after the novelty has worn off from my new hobby, I'll give it a try. But I'm lucky in one respect - when I do finally decide to do it, I have a pretty good idea how it will look, since I have a twin brother who just passed the one-month mark on his beard. It's a little patchy, but pretty legit. Still, at this point, it's hard to resist the call of a fresh blade slicing through the stubble every morning.
My very first thought... I believe what is, is. Everything that ever will be, or ever was, is. Said different, what is supposed to be will be if we don't convince ourselves we know better and try to get in the way and muck it up. I can't understand our society. It sets these unnatural and sometimes unfair expectations and ideas as to what is "supposed to be". For instance...you're not supposed to have facial hair because it makes people feel you have something to hide. WTF? How does our society come up with the idea that your not supposed to have a beard and that shaving it is more natural than.. um.. going natural and letting it grow. [shrugs] No answer needed. But I would have loved to have been in the room when society got together and made some of the hair-brained decisions as to what is "the norm". Any way..to your question. I think someone should do what makes them feel right and put the idea of what if is socially acceptable as secondary. I don't have a lot to work with in the way of changing my looks, but I do my hair different all the time. Though my career choices deem a suit, tie and clean shave are the norm, I don't always conform. Not to buck the system, but because when it hot, a shirt buttoned to my chin, a tie AND a jacket just seems ridiculous to me. When I don't shave, it doesn't impact my performance. In some ways, your desire to change your appearance shows me a strong personal identity. It's what's inside that counts. Go for it.
