Only in The Shave Den would the Windows "razor" be considered a "slam." I suspect that the Linux "razor" was meant to be derogatory as well. It was too good of a picture and a reference to pass up.
So following this analogy, the OS for a DE razor would be DOS. And wouldn't one of the punchcard systems be the true equivalent for a straight? Or maybe an assembly level language?
Actually, with iOS 6's "map issues," it's more like shaving with a bowling pin in some stranger's bathroom.