Question for single guys...

I know you married guys are reading this too, so feel free to comment if you have some insight

I've been single for about 18 months and have found that every lady friend I've made wants to text me. A lot. I was married before texting, so never really dealt with this. I'm finding that whatever secret club single women in their 30's belong to, they get issued a smart phone with unlimited texting ability. Anyone else finding this to be the case? How do you deal with it?

 

I'm married and have unlimited texting.

 

I have a girlfriend, we both have unlimited texting and you know I'm 23 so I was in the middle of the texting introduction. We do text when we communicate, but when we do have something important or are in a hurry a call is more effective =P and if someone is waiting for the bus or are on the bus or riding a bike or are outside after dark we talk on the phone =) it's not just to use the free texts, it's just easier =P

 

It seems to me the first and only rule is: answer IMMEDIATELY or you're in the dog house. But, what do penguins know, we stick with the same gal forever. Tho, it is a little hard to tell them apart.

 

I'm single.


Sometimes.

 

None of this is what I'm looking for.

 

I'm really single. I much prefer texting for quick little things. Much more than that, I make a call.

My mobile is my only phone, so I have unlimited texting and calls.

 

Put your foot down now.

 

seems like ladies wanting to communicate with you should be a good thing
unless it's a timing issue. there is the hook.
if your issue is just too much texting answer her texts with calls.
if your issue is texts from one while your out with the other, oh brother, you better be honest with them. no way to start another relationship, double dealing from jump street. be honest with them and yourself about what you want.
I'm sure you'll find the one you'll want to text with all the time

 

^ That =P

 

I tried to read the OP carefully, and what I'm getting is that you have something of an
issue with the number of texts your getting, so I'll go with that.

Many folks of that age appear (to me) to have that phone permanently attached to themselves, and that in itself
says something about them. I get the impression that many of these people "need" that electronic umbilical cord
because they fear being "alone". This could be the root of some really significant troubles later.

How I deal with this?

I set them down, and with a tender tone explain to them that I am not going to suddenly disappear from the face
of the planet, or from their lives. I let them know that I find it flattering that they want to communicate with me often,
but it just can't be because I have obligations to my employer, and others around me.
I then assure them that I will contact them when the conditions permit it, and that I very much like to visit with them too.
If this "sinks in", then we're good to go.
If it doesn't, then it suggests that the person has some significant issues that they may need help with.
It's then up to you.
Do you want to stay in this situation and work with person, or is this too much like a mill stone around your neck?

This is of course only something you can answer for yourself.

 

Maybe not....but it is what you should have expected.

 

So, is the original question, Are they flirting with me via text? or, How do they have so many texts? or, Do they expect me to reply?

signed,

Married and confused, mostly confused

 

Sublime.

 

Seriously, and frighteningly, I bet that approach makes some of them want your attention even more.

 

You have two options:
Express your thoughts or just accept it as today's culture.

If you express your thoughts, they have two options:
Accept what you have to say or tell you to stick it in your ear.

 

These are all fine and entertaining posts, and some excellent advice all around. Let me be more specific.

I'm not complaining about having attractive women texting me. Texting also doesn't bother me. I'm just kind of befuddled by this phenomena. When I was first single I missed out on a relationship because I didn't know this was the thing that happens now. Meaning, I wasn't very engaging while texting back. And then I figured it must just be another woman's thing. But now, it's every single woman I meet, so I know it's got to be a common occurrence. And I'm not talking about the business type things being texted between people in a relationship. Nothing like that.

My theory is that it's a way for women to feel someone out much better than going on dates, and perhaps easier to ask pointed questions while texting instead of in person.

That's why I was asking the single guys, because you married guys don't know anything about this. hahahaha

 

Before you know it, women of today will phone in intercourse.

 

That very well could be. So be sure to use your best grammar when you reply to their texts, you're being scoped.

 

Single here and have also been single for about 18 months.
Funny, for me the texting situation is the opposite.
I'm the one that tends to text and not call and have been getting some flak for that from dates in the past and have been told;
"You don't seem too interested"
"Why don't you ever actually call?"

I hate talking on the phone.

Oh I've been with some women that have phoned it in