First and last place PIF *WINNERS SELECTED &ANNOUNCED*

I'm in.
"Here's your sign." Jeff Foxworthy

 

I'm in. George Carlin - "I want to put four white canes with red tips on each corner of my car, wear sunglasses and drive very rigidly". Most of my favorites are his, but that one is able to be used here. LOL

 

I'm in
Not sure if it's my favorite But it's a good one.

Do you know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon- jim gaffigan

 

I'm in


"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother." — Rodney Dangerfield

 

I'm in. Great idea for a PIF.

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." - Mitch Hedberg

 

I'm In

'You're only given a little spark of madness, you mustn't lose it' - Robin Williams

That's Bill Engvall. Jeff is "You might be a Redneck if...."

 

So many choices. In keeping with the Brian Regan theme, I'm in the defense industry and have always loved this one.

Inventions intrigue me, I was reading about the Walkie Talkie and I read it was a military inventions, that surprised me, usually military stuff has strong names you know Apache Helicopter, Tomahawk missile. ...Walkie Talkie? How did that slip through the system? Was a general talking to some guy? "What do you have there soldier?" Well it's a new communication device that's untethered which will enable the troops to speak effectively when they're in the field. "What's it called?" WALKIE TALKIE. Look I'm walkie and I'm talkie. Now you walkie and talkie general. I'm walkie and talkie, are you walkie and talkie? "I like it solder, what's this explosive device?" The Wammy Kablammy and this is the Rooty Tooty Aim and Shooty.

 

I'm in!

 

Im in...."Im Ron Burgundy?"-Will Ferell

 

If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving---Henny Youngman

 

I'm in.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

 

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining....Judge Judy.
I'm in.

 

Im in,,,i dont get no respeect,,Rodney Dangerfield

 

I'm in =)

Kevin Hart

"You see, I'm not gonna do it. I can't do it two nights in a row. I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checkings, but it's gonna take 3 business days...I don't think it's gonna go through."

Kevin hart is the funniest comedian I have seen in a long time =)

 

I'm in.
"My mother is ninety years old, never used glasses…drank right from the bottle."
-Henny Youngman

 

I'm in

"I live on a one way dead end." Steven Wright

 

Im in.

Men working with women is like bears working with salmon dipped in honey.


Patrice O'Neal.

 

I'm In!

I’d like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It’d be so damn literal! You are using that machine to it’s exact purpose!-Mitch Hedberg

 

I'm in.

"If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?" ~ Gallagher