Acquisition Disorders Clinic

Compulsive Hording Acquisitional Disorder, CHAD, is a treatable condition. Awareness is the first step toward recovery. You are not alone. I can help you to overcome this disorder that has depleted your wallets and your shelf spaces.

 

Here I my $.05

I have purchased not one but three cabinets for shaving product. One in the bath and two for the closet. Save for a small drawer 7x7x1 for fountain pens it is all about shaving. My hones don't fit, they are in the shop. I am out of space in all three. I am not talking small storage boxes. The smallest is 24x11x24. The largest is 6 feet high.

Lucy, I need help!

 

The solution to your problem is simple. You need to build a shaving studio onto your house. One that is big enough to hold everything you have.
You could sell off those things you no longer need, but that might tempt you to buy more to fill up the space again. No, the answer is simple…buy a bigger house!
Our time is up for this session. Have a nice day and good mental health.

 

Here are the ways I can arguably justify my shaving acquisition disorder:

• My vast collection of shaving soap consists of consumable items (i.e. they will be used up…eventually)
• The majority of my 40+ straight razors will eventually be sold off after restoration
• The majority of my aftershave collection will be used up eventually (see soap comment above), with the exception of perhaps, Osage Rub, which may last forever.

And, yes, da Nile is more than just a river…..

 

Whom are you trying to convince? You don't have to justify yourself to me--your wife, definitely, but not me.
This is clearly a defense mechanism. You are sublimating your need for self satisfaction by acquiring more than you can possibly use so that others will reach out to you and soothe your fragmented psyche. I suggest you start eating comfort food instead. I know @Darkbulb has a lot of cookies.
That's our time for this week.

 

Thanks, doc! This therapy is already paying dividends!

 

Already thought the bigger house was they way to go.

But then the fear of my wife finding 8 or 12 full moving boxes of only shaving gear would end in the big D and I don't mean Dallas. Nope, I am staying put.

 

I smell an attempt to form a cult here guys. How long before he starts prescribing the solution of freeing your minds by sending him all of your shave gear

 

Very sound advice! Highly skilled clinician here - don't hesitate to use his services guys!

 

As long as I have more cookies than razors I'm fine.

I got a lot of cookies.

 

The fee is five cents, just as it says on the front of my office.

 

Your inability to share your cookies with others may indicate your need to overcome your Oedipus complex, while your compulsive razor collecting is clearly your desire to compete with your father. N. B. the long shape of the razor handle symbolizing the longtime repression of your desire to become a pastry chef, which brings us back to your cookie collection.
This is a difficult, complex case. We will need to conduct more than one session per week.

 

I do not hoard. I acquire and collect. Note the distinct difference? LOL

 

It's like you can look into my soul.

Best 5 cents spent. Ever.

 

Sure, and exactly how many things have you "acquired" to this point? Is there any part of your house that does not have something you've "collected" on or in it…?

 

I will give you the benefit of the doubt then. Just don't start in with matching robes and the Shave Den Mother Ship coming to take us away.

I have been obsessed with adjustable razors and Italian shave soaps lately. What is your diagnosis???

 

I run a vintage razor and high end products disposal service. If you need assistance, please ask.

Carry on.

 

What you do in the privacy of your own home is not my business. The scope of my practice is treatment of CHAD. I do not see pts with OCD, which is how your symptoms present. I can refer you to @GDCarrington who might be able to help you explore your obsessions further.
That's our time for today.
Incidentally that is salt water taffy in the candy dish, not Italian shaving soap.

 

Hey, that was like going to a real doctor. I got no practical help, referred to yet another doctor and fleeced for a copay!

 

If you think 5 cents is beyond your means we do offer a sliding scale. Community Mental Health is also an option, though I do not believe they have anyone specializing in adjustable razor and Italian soap obsessions.
Let me know if I can assist you further.