I have so much to do this afternoon that my procrastination is kicking into overdrive

You can get a pretty good substitute on the used soap thread currently trending.

Or "How is your day?"

It's much better than the pun thread.

Silly, penguins dont wear shoes.

Some people just can't take the pun-ishment, I guess.

The exception that proves the rule.

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids!

But, why is that kid practicing cold war interrogation techniques on a rabbit?

Because a cold war is still a mean war!

I don't know what it is, but it could use some Right Guard.

It only takes one white crow.

Cogito ergo consume.

I before e except after c - unless you're pulling a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.

I've never tried that brand, always used Campbell's

Darn you auto correct....

I didn't do well in Spanish...

I don't really need to shave for tomorrow..but I like the Schick Paul Revere razor so much...that I'll do it anyway

Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet!

"I think, therefore I am broth."