You get what you pay for.

Ha! Not any more!

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

Rejoice, parents, for the first day of school is nigh.

You pay for what you get.

You know you've "made it" when Robert Waits emails you directly about interesting eBay listings

Telling a teenage girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy people using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

The only ZEN you find here is the Zen you bring.

Wannabe lowball Player!

I would like to stop receiving advice on how to do a particular thing, from people who have never done it.

Yes, Yes, Yes.

Greg W.

Hmm...I wonder if you can get fleas from a dog...

Water is the most essential element on earth because without it you cannot make coffee.

I know a guy who gave fleas TO his dog. True story.

@Cash is now being accepted at TSD.

"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

-- Billy Connolly (British Comedian)

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

-- Homer Simpson

My dog hates the harmonica.