Cue the Rocky theme song.
It'sss Shhhhhaaaaavvvvve Night at the Den! Yes, the boiling point was finally reached as the tension between The Hussy and the new comer Purple PAL Injecto Matic spilled into the open. The Den was packed. All the celebrities were out. Spotted in the crowd was the Type F taking his seat on the shaving stand for a bird's eye view.
First up was the newcomer, the Purple PAL IM hailing from Great Britain. He came out of his corner whacking whiskers with ease, showing no fear. Wow, he was really looking good. Then the Hussy leapt into action. The crowd let out an audible gasp at the smooth moves she put out. Quick and easy were the only way to describe how she moved and the short work she made of the stubble. The judges were impressed. Oh wait, what's that, it looks like the newcomer left a weeper - a wee one but a weeper nonetheless! Well, this is getting interesting. The scoring cards from the night show the judges gave a very slight advantage to the Hussy on the first pass reduction as well.
The bell for pass two sounds and the Purple Brit moves into full stride. Moving across the grain he sweeps the lather and beard clean. No errors here and the crowd is roaring. Now the Hussy comes out and does the same. It seems she moves with grace and power with the greatest ease. She is giving no quarter to the newcomer. If he wants to win he's going to have to give the shave of his life. Second pass reduction showed the contestants dead even. But the judge's notes show some points being lost by the Hussy for excessive clogging.
And now the final pass. The Hussy comes out first and continues her reign of whisker terror. Moving against the grain she easily gets in close beneath the chin. No drama, just sweet shaving at its best. The Purple Brit is not giving up. He comes out and shows he is made of stern stuff. He works harder at the jawline and beneath the chin but gets the job done. Whew, this is going to be close. Both razors move in for wet touch ups. Wow, they slide across the face searching for every last whisker in what looks like a mad dash. It seems the Purple Brit is finding a few more stragglers than the Hussy. The final round scoring shows dead even again on the final reduction. But, once again, the Hussy is getting sidelong glances for the extra time spent cleaning up between strokes.
The crowd is going wild as the judges delay and consult. Clearly there is a problem with the scoring and decision. They decide to call in the Alum block for his card. But, alas, this doesn't resolve a thing as his findings are even-Steven. Now the crowd is outright boisterous and getting out of control.
Now the referee steps into the ring for the announcement. Here it comes. Smoothness goes to the Hussy. A cheer goes up from the crowd. Overall reduction a tie. Groans from all around. Penalty point against the Hussy for clogging delays. Again, the crowd roars. And a penalty point against the Purple Brit for the first pass minimal weeper. The shave-off goes to the Hussy!!! :wave:
At this point fights break out in the crowd and the din is broken by the referee announcing that it's been decided this is a best of three competition. No title is awarded tonight. Vegas is thrilled, the crowd pumped, and the dolphins jealous. Left behind is one super-smooth-face-rubbing-goodness mug. And that's the tale of the night - one no-holds-barred thriller.
Post-script. The final word goes to my wife who tested each side and proclaimed the Hussy's side smoother. The judge's got it right after all.
T&H Ultimate Comfort PSO
Geo. F. Trumper's Lime Shaving Soap
T&H Wellington Super Badger
Schick Type H
Personna (3)
PAL Injecto Matic
Schick (2)
Osma Alum Block
T&H Classic After Shave Balm
View attachment 101223
Happy shaving - Karl
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