View attachment 101638
MAYhem 1st, 2016
1:15 A.M.
Nearly 2 am and here I sit holding the styptic pen to my face and every few seconds going over my face with a wet face cloth to wipe away the blood, hopes, and dreams I had before todays shave and wondering what I have ever done to deserve this. I now know why they are called pain sticks...
I got home a little after midnight and was feeling quite stubbly so I decided to kick off MAYhem bright and early as I don't have to be into work to tomorrow afternoon. I hopped in the shower after setting up my soap and brush to soak in some cold water. After washing away the grit and grime from work and doing my best impression of Billy Joel's "Piano Man" I hopped out of the shower and started loading my RR 24mm Finest Badger with RR SMDF Shaving Soap. 15 seconds of loading and I had a fairly decent load. I wet my face again and work up an acceptable lather on the beautiful mug of mine. I say my prayers and grab the pain stick loading with a fresh Feather Pro and start on my right cheek. As soon as it touches my skin I realized I have made a horrible mistake. I put it up against my face at what I now know is the wrong angle and boom....my first cut.... Adjust the angle and finally found the at the moment sweet spot and start my first pass. Work my way down my right cheek and besides the initial gash all is going perfect. I rinse the Pain Stick off and go to work on the upper jawline. I manage to screw up on the angle again and nearly fillet my jaw. I finish up my first pass and along the way earn myself two more gashes/nicks. I relather for my XTG pass and have to rinse it off and pull out the styptic as the lather was mainly red. Finally stop the bleeding enough and lather. XTG pass goes somewhat smoothly with no nicks or cuts but it doesn't really reduce any stubble. At this point I am bleeding pretty good and should just call it quits for the night.
So I smartly lather up for my ATG pass and this is were things get downright ugly. In this pass I manage to absolutely butcher my neck, lower lip/chin area, and slice my moustache area and manage to gash my nose. I fight tooth and nail through the blood and pain because if I am going to lose the fight against this CJB I am at least walking away BBS even if it kills me. I manage to get the Baby and quickly chuck this tool of torture down and begin washing my face with cold water while franticly grabbing the Alum and Styptic pen. 2 minutes of cold water couldn't get the blood to stop so I grab the alum with one hand and the styptic with the other and begin trying to close cuts all over whilst also trying to keep my girlie screams low. It slows down but doesn't fully come to a stop. I splash on some witch hazel, follow that with another cold water rinse and throw on some Brut AS and almost woke up my entire street with the yelp I let out.
It is now 2 A.M. and the last gash has stopped bleeding... My face is irritated, somewhat puffy, sore to the touch, and I look like Freddy Kruger went to give me a high five and missed my hand and nailed me in the face. A shave this bad means I normally need to take a few days off to let my face heal before I punish it again but I am going to give it another go tomorrow.
Pre shave: Hot shower and Prayers
Shave-
Razor-CJB Pain Stick
Blade- Feather Pro
Brush-Razorock Finest Badger 24mm 2 Band
Soap-Razorock SMDF
Post Shave-
Cold Water Rinse 1000x
Alum
Styptic
Witch Hazel
Brut Aftershave
Curse words that would make a trucker blush followed by uncontrollable weeping....
Click to expand...