Disputes in Missouri

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by freebird, Jul 5, 2008.

  1. freebird

    freebird Active Member

    A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Missouri. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's' field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

    The litigator responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.' The old farmer replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.' The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.' The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Missouri. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.'' The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule?' The farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed Contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.'

    The old farmer smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.
     
  2. crackstar

    crackstar Israeli Ambassador to TSD

    very funny!!!!
     
  3. IsaacRN

    IsaacRN Active Member

    :rofl
     
  4. Queen of Blades

    Queen of Blades Mistress of Mischief Staff Member

    Moderator Supporting Vendor
  5. Padron

    Padron Active Member

    Good one :rofl
     
  6. moviemaniac

    moviemaniac Tool Time

    I like it :D
     
  7. mastermute

    mastermute FatBoy

  8. hoglahoo

    hoglahoo Yesterday's News

    I love it!
     
  9. rick

    rick I'll make ya SCream!

    Excellent !!
     
  10. teenagefrank

    teenagefrank Member

    hip hip hooray!
     
  11. Pokerstar

    Pokerstar New Member

    :happy102:happy102

    Note to self: Stay away from Missouri!!!
     
  12. Single Wedge

    Single Wedge New Member

    :happy102:happy102

    As a person in the legal field I am glad this one got his but kicked. Lawyers need that some times.
     
  13. ...and I'm proud to be a Missourian!!!!
     
  14. Bronco

    Bronco Mac Daddy

    :happy102 :happy108
     
  15. highball

    highball Member

    good one
     
  16. moviemaniac

    moviemaniac Tool Time

    Welcome to The Shave Den! ::
     
  17. Queen of Blades

    Queen of Blades Mistress of Mischief Staff Member

    Moderator Supporting Vendor
    Welcome to The Shave Den, highball!

    Don't forget to sign up for the Newbie Give-Away!
     
  18. alphage

    alphage Member

    3 kick

    It was a gooder all right!
     
  19. apswartz

    apswartz New Member

    Yeah! Well it wasn't Perry Mason!
     
  20. SlagleRock

    SlagleRock Member

    :happy102

    Welcome Highball!
     

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