Oops..Pardon the Pun..or Not...

Here's one from "Roy Firestone Does Minor League Baseball". (Firestone's wit style is similar to that of Berman of ESPN-sorry, forgot his first name), but he is more soft-spoken than Berman and I like Firestone better because he, didn't do the "back-back-back-back". Anyway:

"Ah yes, fans, that story, I would have to say, was a bit low...and speaking of low, there's a pitch down low for a ball...3 and 2".

 

That should read escaped goat

 

Maybe he wasn't too swift and dug himself INTO prison.

 

Then he would be an inscaped goat

 

The Bacon Tree
A group of early settlers heading West got off the Oregon Trail and found themselves lost and running out of supplies. One evening, they camped near a stream, and as it became darker, they saw a campfire a little way up the hill on the same stream.

The next morning, they headed out to see who was there. They found a small cave and an old Rabi had made his home there.

"We're lost and hungry, can you help us?"

He thought a moment, then said, "I have very little and can only share the water in this stream, and I know only that there's a Bacon Tree about a mile West of here along the stream."

They couldn't pack up and roll out fast enough, the thought of BACON filled their minds. As they went through a small narrow gorge, they were accosted by a band of Walla Walla Indians who were not happy to see them and would have robbed them if they had anything of value.

Beaten up and nursing a few wounds, they got out, but the leader of the group went back to the old Rabi with several men, all of them angry. "You said there was a Bacon Tree, and all we found was an Ambush by angry Indians!"

The Rabi thought a moment, adjusted his little round glasses, looked up and said. "Oy Vey! Ham Bush, Bacon Tree, who knew?"

 

TLEPS <<...must be wondering what that spells. It's the grain spelt backwards.

 

I understood that, but just barley. Good thing I have a rye sense of humor.

 

Ah, but you failed to realize, puns are @Sara-s bread and butter.

 

No, grain spelt backwards is NIARG

 

Isn't that what vegan zombies crave?
"uunnn... grains... "

Via Kyocera / Tapatalk

 

Almost. I thought it was NIARG EHT, and I can't be miss Taken, because I am mr. Taken (more than 27 years by now, of which 25 happily married).

 

25 years happily married out of 27? That's not a bad ratio, with only 2 years unhappily married.

 

Mac, I'd like to say that I took that one with a grain assault.

 

I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. First 2 years (& 2 months) happily taken but not married yet. Next 25 years happily married and still taken.

 

What does one call a peeping bird.
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A Peking Duck.