TSA Agent: "Sir, what do we have here?"

Brian: "That's my travel razor."

TSA: "ID please."

<Brian produces ID>

TSA: "I see you're from California, sir. Don't you know that double-edge razor blades are prohibited in carry-on luggage?"

Brian: "Officer, that's not a razor blade. It's a Feather."

TSA: "A Feather? ...and this carriage bolt? What is that, a fountain pen?"

Brian: "That's a razor handle, of course."

TSA: "What about this nut and washer?"

Brian: "You see, that secures the bla..Feather to the bolt, er, handle."

TSA: "Let me get this straight. You shave with a F e a t h e r secured to this h a n d l e? With all the stuff hidden in a breath mint tin. This seems rather odd, wouldn't you say?"

Brian: "Well, yes, yes it is kind of odd for me. I usually rub some Veg on my face after the shave, and I didn't bring any with me."

TSA: "Being from California, I figured you were some kinda vegetarian."

Brian: "No...no...it's nothing like that. It's a popular aftershave, and you just can't get it in a 3.4 ounce bottle. It comes in quart-size jars."

TSA: "I see. It must smell great if you buy that much. What does it smell like?"

Brian: "Cat...but it sure feels good on my face, and my wife likes it."

TSA Agent calls on the radio, "security detail required at E-7, on the double."

Brian: "And, well, you see, I like to shave my face over and over...till it's smooth as a baby."

TSA: "A baby...of course, and then you rub cat all over it. And there's a plucked bird somewhere flying around without feathers. Sir, I'm placing you in the custody of airport security."

Brian: "Wait, wait, let's start over, can we? Long story, but my name is Neal, and I really need to get back to St. Louis...Hey, I can make you a great deal on a mattress... "

Or depending on how you come across on the interview, and/or if you show the razor, it might be coded as self harm-- hold for observation.

I haven't been posting much about my shaves lately, but perhaps you'll remember that my focus this month was to show a little love to the brushes I have neglected lately. I used to be an almost exclusive bowl latherer, but have gone 180° over to mostly face lathering, so I thought I'd run through the boars, badgers, and horse to see how they stack up to the synthetics I've been reaching for lately. Earlier this week I tried the Omega 49 with Soap Commander Courage and the Fatboy set on 7 and a GSB on it's second shave. I really want to like this brush, if for no other reason than it gets so much praise on the Den, but the sad truth is I just can't get consistent results with it. Every now and then the stars align and I'll get a good lather from it, but mostly I load about 10 passes worth of soap with it and barely get one back. I started my face lather and got a fair amount on my face, but as I started working it, the brush started sucking it back up. Not sure why. I've tried it with a soaked brush, a just wet brush, a barely damp brush and a dry brush with damp soap. I've done everything I can think of and frankly it's just not worth it anymore. There are too many great options in my den to be fooling around with what is, for me anyway, a sub par brush. I grabbed the Wolf and finished my shave, which was a solid DFS+. Tonight's shave was with the Vie Long horsehair and WSP Barbershop. Much better lather. Easy 3 passes and touch up. The horse is a little more scritchy than I like, but all in all a solid performance. I used the Ikon slant with a fresh Sharp Star, and caught the baby. I thought I had overdone it as my neck seemed a little irritated, but the alum was barely warm, and it feels fine now. My next shave will be with the Shavemac 177 Silvertip, which has never let me down.


TLDR: Omega boar is a disappointment, Vie Long horse is okay, Shavemac Badger upcoming.

Suddenly I find I'll be nervous all week while you're travelling....waiting for Feds to kick my door in while you fly off laughing.

Yeah but at least you get the fun robes and slippers on that ward.

Sure they would. Psychiatric coverage has no deductible. Skin grafting, wound closures, and blood transfusions are covered at 100%.

I liked it, so I could unlike it, and like it a second time.

I check my bag. It'll fly right through

Without the washer the screw head would pull through. It is a necessary part of this setup
I look forward to seeing your rig.

I'll actually be in Neal's neck of the woods on the 15th. I'm sure he can give me a referral.

They will look at the other scars and send me for psychological testing. That's why I'm packing CA and taking are of it myself

The locals out there at "urgent care" will simply pass you their bottle of Hennessy and slap you on the back. It ain't gonna be like a gunshot wound; nobody in the Lou gets excited about a little straight razor love.

Too funny!
As luck would have it, Neal's girlfriend is coming back to St. Louis on the same flight and has offered to carry the razor for me. All of this for a bottle of the Veg and a pack of Kool's. What a deal

Yeah, but somebody's got to scan that bag before they load it. It might pass muster, but it will cause some confusion.

I will have a straight razor packed next to it for the other shaves next week. This could be fun.

They will probably put you on a watch list of people who should be denied access to any prison visiting area. You'll be forever known as Brian "The Shiv" Chick.

That has a nice ring to it.