There once was a nerd named Melvin
Who only measured temperature in Kelvin
Once the Kelvin reached zero
The man was a hero
As he danced in his shoes that were Elvin.

There once was a dog with no tail.

There once was a dog with no tail
He was missing all four legs as well

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There once was a dog with no tail
He was missing all four legs as well
But boy he would squirm

There once was a dog with no tail
He was missing all four legs as well
But boy he would squirm
and for his efforts he would earn

There once was a dog with no tail
He was missing all four legs as well
But boy he would squirm
and for his efforts he would earn
All the joys of the leftover mail

The Thanksgiving turkey was fair

There once was a nerd named Melvin
Who only measured temperature in Kelvin
Once the Kelvin reached zero
The man was a hero
And accordingly was knighted Sir Melvin

Since I became a TSD member

Since I became a TSD member
Several years ago, in December

To shave i did learn

And without burn

And now own more razors than i can remember

There once was an archer named Sara

There once was an archer named Sara
Who dreamed of the French Riviera.

There once was an archer named Sara
Who dreamed of the French Riviera.
She would look out to sea

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There once was an archer named Sara
Who dreamed of the French Riviera
She would look out to sea
To see what she could see

There once was an archer named Sara
Who dreamed of the French Riviera
She would look out to sea
To see what she could see
Then booked a trip to Canberra.

I had a wonderful time

(I think someone beat me to it)