There is a man, he is dying in his bed in his home. He smells something amazing. It’s the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years is cooking the beautiful cookies. There are four of them on a plate, fresh out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies. But his wife sees him, rushes over, slaps his hand and says - No, they are for the funeral.
I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order. Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed Thank you. Obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me - What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?
