Moving Out of State

Discussion in 'The Chatterbox' started by JoeMal, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. JoeMal

    JoeMal Member

    Hello 'Denners!

    It's been a while...things have been crazy for me the last several weeks. Graduated with my Masters about a month ago, and we've been planning parties and all sorts of other goodies since. I've also started a small lawn mowing business to bring in some extra funds this summer. Yeah...Masters degree and I'm mowing lawns for money :happy102 :eek:

    The wife (who also just got her Masters) and I have been searching for jobs for the last several months with no good luck. I think part of the problem might be to us being in Illinois...where everything sucks. The state is in huge amounts of debt...high taxes...corrupt politicians. So instead of waiting on the jobs to come to us, we're going to them.

    We're planning on moving to Texas...YEEHAW! I've been to Texas several times, and have family there, and I know how awesome it is. Specifically, we are looking into the North Dallas area.

    Part of the problem lies within the family. Her family is really supportive of us and is thrilled that we are going. My family, however, pouts about it like it's the end of the world and I'm not sure how to handle this. Frankly, it annoys me that I don't have support from my own family. We've both worked really hard to be where we are and I hate to limit myself to the location I'm at (and have always been here! Grew up here) just to please them. I have my own life to live and my own decisions to make. I need to do what's good for us.....

    So I guess I just felt like getting that out to my fellow TSD friends for your support. Anyone else experience something like this when moving out of state after college, or any other life-changing experience? How did you handle it?

    AND HELLO TSD! Hope all is well for all of you :) :cool:
     
  2. byrd

    byrd Well-Known Member

    Here is an early welcome to North Texas. If you can stick it out through the summer you will love it here. Oh and congrats on the degree.
     
  3. Williams Warrior

    Williams Warrior Well-Known Member

    I wanted to move out of state in my 20's but my mom acted like the world would come to an end so I stayed. Now I'm in my 40's and I regret not following my heart, you got to do what is best for you and your wife, not what pleases your folks, when you get to adulthood. IMO
     
  4. battle.munky

    battle.munky Has the menthol.munky on his back!

    I've done it a few times. Once when I went in the military and in the last 2 years when I graduated college and left Florida to get a job in MD. It really isn't that I didn't have support from either side, it was the fact that the state sucked for employment and I was leaving my place of birth, again.

    Also, taking grandbabies with you isn't the best thing for grandparental attitude realignment either. Other than that, it had to be done. I got this hot new high-tech degree in a state with a dead economy and no high-tech jobs. I either had to deliver pizza and wait for a job to open up or move. We moved. If your family can't see that it is in your best interest then tough. It's not like you are crapping on them if you leave, it is like you are crapping on yourself if you stay.

    Hope it works out without hard(er) feelings.
     
  5. JoeMal

    JoeMal Member

    Thanks! It gets hot here in Illinois too...been in the mid 90s the last few days. At least I won't have to deal with winters and snow/ice!

    That's one of my points...we can always come back if we want. Right now we are young, fresh grads, no kids, no commitments. 'Why not' is my reasoning.

    Seriously...win. That's exactly how I feel. Thanks :D
     
  6. Mr. Imperial

    Mr. Imperial Member

    My wife and I have moved a few times, for career and schooling. I've never been terribly close to my parents, so it wasn't a really big deal when I moved 1) to NY state the first time after growing up in NC, 2) to Australia for a year, 3) to KY to get my MA, 4) back to NY for my wife's job and to start my PhD. She and her family seem to take moving a bit harder than I do. But we'll be at another crossroads in a few years when I start looking for a job!
     
  7. stingraysrock

    stingraysrock PIF'd away his custom title

    Congrats!

    I have pretty much kissed off my entire family outside of my wife. This includes two sisters, my grandparents and my mom.

    I don't hate on them or anything, but yanno; this is my life and I have to do what I want to do.

    You are born to die, and living everyday just prolongs what is going to happen anyway. Sort of like fruit on a vine. So yanno, get on with your life.

    You and your wife should be your number one priority.

    It is the way of things.

    Good Luck!
     
  8. swarden43

    swarden43 "It's your shave. Enjoy it your way."©

    Congrats on the degree.

    Coming from a military background, I've averaged a move about every two years. Of course that's to be expected when you're in the military. But the bottom line is what you said yourself, you have your own life to live, your own decisions to make, and you have to do what you feel is best for you.
     
  9. dougr

    dougr Well-Known Member

    First Joe congrats on getting your Masters and all of the hard work. I was transferred 17 times accross the USA several times and lived in every region, NW, S, E, W, SW, MW and then did several of them again over 35 years. It expands your horizons, work experience, and breadth of experience so that you have more choices. You are doing the right thing to make your luck and plan rather than waiting for luck to happen. Best, Doug
     
  10. JoeMal

    JoeMal Member

    I'm glad to see all the support here...it just confirms that my family is being fussy. Which still sucks, but if that's how they want to feel, they are certainly entitled to their own opinion and feelings. I just hope they come around. We would obviously see less of each other, and leaving on bad note between us would certainly compound that issue. Oh well, life goes on I guess.
     
  11. Etoyoc

    Etoyoc Backwards

    My parents are in Illinois and they are still trying to give reasons why I should come back to Illinois. In my case, we aren't even originally from there anyway. :rolleyes:

    Do what you have to do in this job market to successfully strike off on your own and be an adult.

    We will still love ya.
     
  12. Regan

    Regan Well-Known Member

    I hear you. It is a tough call to make and a very important. But as you said yourself it is your life and the two of you need to do what works the best for you both. :D

    Hope the move works out and both get nice jobs.

    What is your masters in?
     
  13. JoeMal

    JoeMal Member

    Technology. I'm a computer guy...
     
  14. Regan

    Regan Well-Known Member

    Ah cool cool. I was thinking of doing my masters in Accounting problem is the money and time needed. But could be worth it in the future.
     
  15. GDCarrington

    GDCarrington Burma Shave

    From a more than 6th generation Texan, welcome to the great state of Texas! Being from the North Texas area, I will warn you that we have 4 seasons in this state.

    Spring is 7 days.

    Fall is 7 days.

    Oven is 210 days.

    The remaining season is called Crazy in which anything goes!

    As said earlier, if you can handle the weather you will do well here.

    Again, Welcome to Texas!

    P.S. I understand the family issues.
     
  16. Shawna

    Shawna 1000 Music Tag Bonus Points Awarded!

    :happy096

    Congratulations on your Masters ... blood, sweat, and tears, at least that is what I feel like I'm shedding pursuing my degree!

    I hear you on the family pressure, but the reality is we all grow...Up. It is your responsibility to do what is the right thing for YOUR family. I have been away from mine for 10 years, and I still hear the reasons I should move back to Oklahoma. Jeff is my home, wherever he goes, so shall I.

    Good luck and Godspeed on your journeys Joe, may your life be filled with life, love, and ... Heat! :D
     
  17. MaxP

    MaxP Member

    Joe-

    Life, indeed, goes on. In today's highly mobile society, your life and that of your companion are paramount.

    Make the move. Get your life moving. Your family may or may not come to understand.
     
  18. Xezmer

    Xezmer Active Member

    Find yourself a lady and a gun and settle down :D
     
  19. sol92258

    sol92258 I have no earthly idea

    Well, all my responses have already been given, including this one: Welcome to Texas!
    If you travel by land-based vehicle (read: drive), you'd most likely pass right through my town, lemme know if/when that happens, if it's possible we may can meet up for a little bit, give you a leg stretch for the final 3 hours of the drive.
    Of course, if you fly, then nevermind :D
    Met with a fellow B&Ber last year during his move from Alabama to Texas, had a good visit.


    Either way, once you got married, you became your own family unit, and while input and consideration of your immediate family is important and helpful, it's not the final determining factor.
    It's not an easy decision, especially the first time, but it you feel this is the best thing for your family, then make the call and do it (DO EET!) :D
     
  20. JoeMal

    JoeMal Member

    Have both of those already. I'm working on the settling down part...two outta three ain't so bad I guess
     

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