I would like to join H.A.V.O.C.

I dunno ... I heard Sam Elliott is a tried and true AV man.

 

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!! :mad:

You are relegated to a Good News Razor, Barbasol shaving cream (yes in the can), and Mennen Skin Bracer for a month...

Now put that in your pipe and smoke it... :rofl

 

Yowza... that one might belong in the Halloween SOS thread!

 

Only when he plays in movies like Roadhouse, you know, when he ACTS like a tough guy.

REAL MEN WEAR BLUE!

 

Who says wet shavers ain't erudite?

Can we all get back to loving soaps and creams and hating Mach 3s and remembering all this AVCL and HAVOC nonsense is in good clean fun?

Although of course HAVOC members are generally more suave.

 

Suave? Don't they make hair spray?

 

Ahem. May I present two heartfelt odes to Aqua Velva. The first is by a mysterious poet known only as "Navarth", who seems to have a love/hate relationship with the transcendent blue fluid. The second is by yours truly, who feels an unfettered sense of joy when using AV.

-----------------------------------------

Drinking Velva by the peg,
Singing songs of drunken glee,
I thought to swallow half a keg
But Aqua Velva degurgled me.

Not precisely comme il faut
to practice frank polygamy;
I might have practiced, even so,
But Aqua Velva disturgled me.

Chorus:

Aqua Velva, Aqua Velva,
It's a loving friend.
It holds my hand while I'm asleep,
It guides me on my four-day creep,
It's with me to the end.

To woo a dainty Eskimo,
I vowed to swim the Bering sea.
No sooner had I wet a toe
When Aqua Velva occurgled me.

A threat arcane, a fearful bane
within an old phylactery.
I turned the rubbish down a drain,
Now Aqua Velva perturgles me.

A reeking water-buffalo
Pawed the ground ferociously
I could have felled him with a blow
But Aqua Velva returgled me.

Who wants silver, who wants gold
On this anniversary?
I wish that I were five years old
Aqua Velva conturgles me

Chorus: (with a snapping of fingers and a clicking of
heels in mid-air)

Aqua Velva, Aqua Velva,
It's a loving friend.
It holds my hand while I'm asleep,
It guides me on my four-day creep,
It's with me to the end.

- Navarth

-----------------------------------------

True blue
Through and through
Aqua Velva's good for you.
One by one and two by two
Splash some on and woo woo woo
At the park or at the zoo
Aqua Velva smells good too.

- TorzJohnson

 

Just put a bullet in my head now and end this misery...

You have got to be kidding me...

 

I like it! Welcome to the Family, new guy!!!! ::

 

He could be a Trojan horse, gentlemen!?


Just a thought.

 

That was indeed Quality.

I think we found a new VP

 

That would be Rich.

AVCL member that uses Velva. :rofl

 

That is what I said.

 

Suave and deboner

 

No one has ever had one of them, you must feel lucky.

 

Bah! Instead of trying to sling mud, you would be wise to brush up on your own poetry skills, which appear to be quite weak. :taunt002 :taunt005

 

As he stands in the warm shower and it softens the beard he knows the brush soaking in the scuttle on the bathroom sink will soon be filled with an aromatic lubricating foam.

He shakes the water from the brush and begins to build lather from the small almond sized shaped amount of Proraso. He hears the clink, clink, clink of the brush as he gently turns it in the cup developing the lather and smelling its aroma.

He brushes the soap on his face and feels the gentle massaging action of the brush and smells the aroma drifting through his nostrils.

He takes a brand new (old stock) Wilkinson razor blade and puts it in his Progress razor and begins his first pass. Swish, Swish, Swish, is all he hears as he cuts throught the first layer of stubble. He applies more lather and does it two more times.

He rinses in warm water then cold and grabs a bottle of Dr Thayer's Lavendar Witch Hazel and massages it into his BBS skin. He then reaches for a bottle of "AQUA VELVA"

Come on!!!! Not Nivea, Proraso or any of the other fine formulas

Not slinging mud...

Asking for relief...:rofl