SOTD -10/1/2014
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The First of October
or
A Study in Scarlet
Wherein we find the author plagued by irritation of the skin and soul, determined to never again allow a single-edged blade to reside in his den of solace and good fortune.
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It was a cool and crisp October morning when our author, an ofttimes discerning and gentle soul, awoke and promptly set out to fulfill his moral obligation and participate in his first open-comb October. Little did he know then that within but an hour's time he was to be crushed by disappointment and frustration, witness the waters running red with blood, and become a man on the verge of insanity.
It began well enough. After a thorough and relaxing preparation, replete with tinctures and soothing distillations of pre-shave concoctions that would make the most extravagant apothecary swoon with envy, our protagonist proceeded to lather with a time-worn brush of spurious and obscure vintage, utilizing a soap of Turkish pedigree enjoyed primarily by those of the elite and cognoscenti. All seemed in order for a glorious and fulfilling respite from the vagaries of stubble.
Upon the first stroke of the so-called blade, however, our intrepid adventurer felt something was amiss. Perhaps he had forgotten a step in his time-honored ritual, or perhaps the edge was not properly and securely affixed? He took stock of himself in the looking-glass and noted rivulets of crimson beginning to course down his visage.
Angrily he spoke aloud, "Thou vilest instrument of torment, thou Summoner of Styptic! What hast thou wrought? Away and begone, foul bringer of blood, unholiest of implements!"
Many hours later -- or perhaps it was mere moments, who can say? -- once the bloodletting had been staunched, the neighbors appeased and the local constabulary properly bribed and sent upon their way, our intrepid adventurer laid the tool of his self-inflicted torture to rest and returned once more to a reliable and pleasurable double-edged experience like those of his forefathers. He vowed then to unburden himself as soon as practical of the singular-bladed tools of despair yet remaining in his cabinet of alchemical and mechanical oddities, though it might well alienate him from those who relished and coveted such weaponry. Or perhaps passing them along to others more worthy would serve to endear him to those self-same compatriots. Nevertheless, he was at last at peace with the knowledge that he would not again experience such misery.
Quoth the shaver, "Nevermore."
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View attachment 54777
Prep: Hot shower. Neutrogena face wash. Noxzema.
Brush: Vintage Ever-Ready Boar.
Lather: Arko.
Razor: Open Comb MicroMatic. Schick Krona.
Blade: Ted Pella. Feather.
Post: Cold water; Razorock Alum Block; C.O. Bigelow Dr. Galen Herbal Witch Hazel Skin Tonic No. 010. Extensive use of the styptic pencil.
After: Clubman Pinaud.
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