Call it cathartic, but I felt I had to share this story with you.
I am nearly 50 and have been a cop for 28 years . Being in this profession, you tend to get a bit hardened, overly sarcastic, aloof and harbor a dark sense of humor, although, I have never devolved into an "us versus them philosophy", nor will I. That being said, I tend to be one of those types that keeps things to myself, the exception being all the bloviating I do in my posts on this forum.
I had read one time in interview/investigator training, how, during victim interviews, scent is a powerful "profile" and oftentimes victims can recall events and more specifically the scents they perceived at the time of the critical incident. (Bad breath, gasoline, musty etc)
I had one of those moments the other morning. As I said, I am 50 in a few months and lost my dad to cancer at the age of 14. Of course, doing the math, he's been gone 36 years, far more
gone than
with me. Nevertheless, there are those fleeting memories of things we did while he was here before God called him home.
The other morning, I got home from graveyard shift and was sorting through the box I received in the "Box" Tour" that @
fishcrow so generously orchestrated. In the box I found I found a bottle of "Old Spice" long lasting cologne from "Shulton, New Jersey". Now I have smelled the current P&G "Original" scent OS and thought, "Eh, I kinda remember that stuff." but to be honest, it really did not hold my attention. I opened the bottle, splashed some on my hands and self, and with seconds started tearing up and thinking of my dad. I was instantly and immediately returned to the state of being a small kid, sitting in a bathroom that smelled of steam and cigarettes (Hence dad's cancer), an AM talk radio station playing, watching my dad shave. I remembered him putting shave cream on my face and letting me use either a completely dulled out razor, or a empty DE safety razor. What I most remembered though, was that smell of Old Spice. In all honesty, I don't recall my dad ever wearing anything but Old Spice. The smell locked itself into a memory storage area when my dad hugged me before he went off to work.
I went to bed that morning, remember my days are 12 hours opposite regular human beings, and drifted off smelling that scent that evoked such a visceral response moments earlier. When I got up in the afternoon, I met the wife in the kitchen of our small house, and splashed a small bit of the Old Spice on the back of my hand. My wife asked what it was, and I showed her the bottle and
tried to speak. She could tell something was bothering me and I started to tell her about the Old Spice, and my dad, and completely fell apart into a blubbering mess. I couldn't even talk! After about the third try at telling her the story, I finally got most of it out. She just hugged me and said "It's okay...I miss my daddy too" (And he's alive on the other side of the country)
So, hopefully I didn't bore you here with my long winded diatribe, I was just curious how many of you have ever had an emotional, visceral response such as this? Thank you for letting me share, and even more so, thank you to whoever put that bottle of Old Spice in the in that box!
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