A neutron walks into a bar...

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by Alpha Lyra, Nov 20, 2012.

  1. Alpha Lyra

    Alpha Lyra Active Member

    A neutron goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives it to him and he asks how much he owes for it. The bartender responds "no charge".
     
    F. Dragos, Spud, Keithmax and 2 others like this.
  2. jeraldgordon

    jeraldgordon TSD's Mascot

  3. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    I like that joke. I'll have to keep an ion you.
     
  4. Gigmaster

    Gigmaster Active Member

    A Nuetrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve neutrinos here..". The neutrino says, "It's OK. I'm just passing through...."
     
  5. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    You have a quarky sense of humor.
     
    voice940, battle.munky and Keithmax like this.
  6. Gigmaster

    Gigmaster Active Member

    I have tried to lose weight, and every time I do, my wife gets heavier. Then, when I gain again, she loses weight.

    I have a theory that what is at work here is the principle of Conservation of Weight. You never really lose weight...you just give it to someone else.
     
  7. Gigmaster

    Gigmaster Active Member

    I hear that once again, Pluto has been demoted to a Dwarf Planet, and this is very upsetting, because they prefer to be called "Little Planets". I know, because I use to be an astronomer. I quit because I got stuck on the day shift...........:D
     
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  8. Gigmaster

    Gigmaster Active Member

    A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve viruses here". The virus replaces the bartender and says," Now we do".

    An Infectious Disease walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Infectious Diseases here". The Infectious Disease says, " Well, you're not a very good host....."
    Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, " We don't serve bacteria here". One of bacteria says, " But we work here. We're staph......" :signs131:

    OK, I'll stop. I just hardly ever get to tell science jokes to anyone. They're not funny if you have to explain them......
     
  9. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    I love Science jokes!
     
    F4ucorsairplane and David Green like this.
  10. puros_bran

    puros_bran Active Member

    Hey.. 02:30 funny jokes are the best.
     
  11. jbund

    jbund Well-Known Member

    Then there is the one I heard last night on the new episode of Bones;

    I don't see the point of circles
     
  12. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    I figured someone would get around to that one.
     
    battle.munky likes this.
  13. gollum83

    gollum83 Well-Known Member

    A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

    The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

    The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

    The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".
     
  14. gollum83

    gollum83 Well-Known Member

    Just remember:
    Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
     
    lradke likes this.
  15. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Matt, you're making baby penguins cry. I hope you're happy. :(
     
  16. gollum83

    gollum83 Well-Known Member

    Oh fine, here's a penguin science joke... :rolleyes:

    [​IMG]
     
    wmbjr, tuxxdk, David Green and 4 others like this.
  17. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Well, at least they've stopped crying .... for now.
     
  18. macaronus

    macaronus Sir Nice-a-Lot

    Please go on! :)
     
    battle.munky likes this.
  19. puros_bran

    puros_bran Active Member

    What? These are jokes??? Oh man I thought they were cliff notes, I am SO gonna blow finals
     
  20. dougr

    dougr Well-Known Member

    Then...there was the engineer who was 6 feet tall and drowned in the lake that only averaged 5 feet in depth......ba-doom-boom////
     

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