Daughters Should Not Grow Up. A Dads Perspective.

The parent is responsible until the child is of legal age and (hopefully) young adult level maturity.

The child is considered a dependent.

Unfortunately some never make it to the maturity part. Parents may still feel responsible for grown immature adult children but once they’re past legal age the law regards them as independent from the parent.

 

My oldest, 14, is at least 5'9 and blossoming. The younger daughter is not far behind. I can smell the jasmine out front. It blooms this time of night. The fragrance drifts 20 feet away and is lovely, yet I feel old, "thin, like butter scraped across too much bread." I just need to man up, face that it is the way of things, and find my peace with it.

 

Having raised 3 daughters and helping with 5 granddaughters, I hate to say it BUT if the proper beliefs/morals aren't instilled very early, it might be a losing battle. Puberty does all kind of weird things and unless the girls have a firm grip on good values and thier worth , it's gonna be tough. Fortunately for us , despite a insignificant bumps, all is well (so far)

 

My girls do have that. What I fear for them is that the world truly seems to be disintegrating while we watch. I cannot predict what they'll see, which makes it harder to prepare them.

 

I changed the oil and filter on the Jeep today. Dang!!!!! The cost of oil is getting stupid. Ok, the cost of everything is getting stupid. I feel sorry for those barely making ends meet.

 

OK here’s a bit of daughter’s perspective.
1) Like it or not, daughters WILL grow up and have minds of their own.
2) At some point, we are driven by our own ideas and there is only so much parents can control (That’s not to say parents should throw up their hands and do nothing.)
3) We do not need never-ending protection from the prying eyes of men. We are perfectly capable of saying no, or even throwing a punch, when guys get out of line. (So dads & older brothers do not need to spend their lives playing bodyguard.)

 

Be sure to use an elbow. Easier on your hand and hits a lot harder.

 

Yes, I’ve found that an elbow to the gut is quite effective. Though it’s hard to elbow someone in the face to stop an unwanted kiss. There, a slap or punch works better. (This is knowledge I wish I didn’t have.)

 

I hate to burst your "Empowered Tough Woman" bubble, but even the smallest of men, can easily overpower a much larger woman. There are very few exceptions. It has to do with Biology, and a lot of Testosterone.
So, men do need to keep looking after the Weaker Sex, no matter how much they think they can take care of things.

.

 

Hate to burst yours, but I have indeed successfully defended myself when I had to. And every man is not a rapist. So I have dealt with men quite successfully without a bodyguard.

 

I, too, have experience raising a daughter. Never had a problem of any kind. Beautiful, smart, funny. Straight A student. No issues whatsoever. Raising a daughter was incredibly easy! She became an Engineer, bought herself a home without any help from me, and recently got married to a guy who I'd be proud to call "son." You guys must be making up all of these problems... ;-)

Now raising BOYS on the other hand... a continual headache, problems galore, and never-ending stress. Not to mention the endless car wrecks, beer, and repair bills. I think they made it their mission to drive me to an early grave with their miscreant behavior.

From personal experience, I've concluded raising girls is easy-peasy, but raising boys is the REAL challenge!
;-)
- Bax

 

At what point did I ever say that every man is a rapist?? Also, good for you, being able to defend yourself against a man. Very few can, without proper training. Keep up the good work.

 

I never said you did. My point, which you missed ,is that that I do not need to defend myself physically (or have someone else defend me) against every man I encounter.

 

I have raised both, having four children. What I have found is that each one is unique. Guiding each of them through their younger years took different approaches due to the various personalities. The difference between my boys is stark, with one being very easy and another taking a lot of prayer and patience. I had both a son and a daughter that were challenging, but in different ways.

 

I have a now, 35 year old daughter. It is my considerable experience that the harder you push, the harder they will push back. Parenting by example is a time-tested method.
Good luck.

 

I am not a parent, but like all of us, I was somebody's child. From that perspective I certainly found that to be true. It reminds me of the saying that kids are like wet bars of soap. The tighter you try to hold them, the more they will slip though your fingers.

On the other hand, I do recall the examples from which I learned. My mother was never a shy retiring mouse. She was perfectly capable of making her opinions heard. My father treated Mom, me and my sisters with love and never made us feel like he wished he had boys.

 

I say this again, and no answer I have seen answers the question;

Why does the patriarchy insist on maintaining dominion over the bodies of their children, to the point of considering the children as their property?

 

Stingraysrocks, it is not an issue of patriarchy. It is an issue of the role of a parent. We, parents, absolutely should have authority over our children. We need to guide them until they are at a place they can guide themselves. Anything else is leaving our children to the wolves, letting them be harmed by what is out there. That would be really bad parenting.

 

It's also an issue of liability. Even today if a youthful miscreant causes problems, it's the parents who pay (or get sued for) damages. Why? Because the parents are responsible for the minors until they reach the age of majority. From the child's view it could look like they're being considered "property," but from the parent's view, it looks more like "responsibility." From MY personal view, that was an awfully darned expensive picture window I had to replace for a neighbor!

- Bax