Limericks

I’m gonna take some artistic license and dial the syllables back to make the limerick workable...

I just ordered for NB18
So I won’t have to mortgage my spleen

 

I just ordered for NB18
So I won’t have to mortgage my spleen.
I'll use what I got
Which I'm afraid is a lot

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Beth won Miss Rhubarb again this year
With a rhubarb as large as an elephant's rear

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Beth won Miss Rhubarb again this year
With a rhubarb as large as an elephant's rear
Her barb was so big

 

Beth won Miss Rhubarb again this year
With a rhubarb as large as an elephant's rear
Her barb was so big
that she dance a jig

 

This one hits a little too close to home.

 

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch

 

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low

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Oh dear....

 

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low
He scratched with his toe

 

There one was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low
He scratched with his toe
Then, succeeding, he ate a sandwich

 

There was a curmudgeon named Joe

 

My Chiseled Face order's all set

 

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow

 

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow
But one day he wed

 

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow
But one day he wed
And regretfully said

 

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said, my Joe, how time does fly

 

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said "my Joe how time does fly
If you don't shape up
I'll steal your best coffee cup"

 

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said "my Joe how time does fly
If you don't shape up
I'll steal your best coffee cup”
So he packed up his soaps and said bye.

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.

 

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.
Who was constantly pushing his luck.