Beth won Miss Rhubarb again this year
With a rhubarb as large as an elephant's rear.
Her barb was so big,
that she dance a jig,
She had quite a delightful career.

There once was a Penguin named Rich

This one hits a little too close to home.

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low

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Oh dear....

There once was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low
He scratched with his toe

There one was a Penguin named Rich
Who was often seen scratching an itch
The itch was so low
He scratched with his toe
Then, succeeding, he ate a sandwich

There was a curmudgeon named Joe

My Chiseled Face order's all set

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow
But one day he wed

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow
But one day he wed
And regretfully said

There was a curmudgeon named Joe
Who swore he would never eat crow.
But one day he wed
And regretfully said,
"Sal, you look like Vincent Van Gogh."

Sal looked Joe square in the eye

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said, my Joe, how time does fly

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said, "my Joe, how time does fly."
"If you don't shape up."

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said "my Joe how time does fly
If you don't shape up
I'll steal your best coffee cup"

Sal looked Joe square in the eye
And said "my Joe how time does fly
If you don't shape up
I'll steal your best coffee cup”
So he packed up his soaps and said bye.

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.
Who was constantly pushing his luck.

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.
Who was constantly pushing his luck.
He shaved without stropping

There was a straight razor shaver named Buck.
Who was constantly pushing his luck.
He shaved without stropping
Then sliced without stopping