I once owned a poodle named Killer

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked like Phyllis Diller

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face
Though it looked out of place

I once owned a poodle named Killer
and she looked just like Phyllis Diller
But I still loved her face
Though it looked out of place
Still, a hug from me always would thrill her.

Daphne, the leprechaun lass

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass
After swilling strong beer

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass
After swilling strong beer
The crowd began to cheer

Daphne, the leprechaun lass
Was known at times to be crass
After swilling strong beer
The crowd began to cheer
'Cause they couldn't resist her cute brass.

A dimwitted fellow named Bart

A dimwitted fellow named Bart
built his own purple Go-Kart

A dimwitted fellow named Bart
built his own purple Go-Kart
As he descended the hill

A dimwitted fellow named Bart
built his own purple Go-Kart
As he descended the hill
His supreme lack of skill

A dimwitted fellow named Bart
built his own purple Go-Kart
As he descended the hill
His supreme lack of skill
made Bart and the Kart come apart.

A sea sick sailor named McBride

A sea sick sailor named McBride
to his wife began to confide

A sea sick sailor named McBride
to his wife began to confide
That he hated the sea

A sea sick sailor named McBride
to his wife began to confide
That he hated the sea
It made him weak at the knee

A sea sick sailor named McBride
to his wife began to confide
That he hated the sea
It made him weak at the knee
And he'd lose his lunch at high tide