For those of you wishing your facial hair grew faster! New and improved BEARD SLAP works in the blink of an eye. Apply a small amount of BEARD SLAP to the palm of your hand and apply vigorously to either cheek. Now looking for volunteers to test BEARD SLAP. BEARD SLAP has not been approved or tested by the FDA.
Clearly, the stabbed Marine was, in fact, Chuck Norris in disguise. He didn't even have to touch the perp to take care of things.
but I don't wanna be that awesome. EDIT: wife and 4 y.o. daughter saw the pic. Wife said, "don't you dare try that." Daughter said, "but you don't shave there!"