A rookie police officer pulled me over for speeding and had the following exchange: • Officer: May I see your driver's license? • Me: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. • Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? • Me: It's not my bike. I stole it. • Officer: The motorcycle is stolen? • Me: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag? • Me: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags. • Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!? • Me: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. I was then quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached me to handle the tense situation: • Captain: Sir, can I see your license? • Me: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. • Captain: Who's motorcycle is this? • Me: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. • Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it? • Me: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag. • Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them. • Me: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs. • Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags. • Me: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
