Good casserole is such a seventies concept.

People should take Flat Earth Theory more seriously, I mean look around.

Mr. Greene is so serene.

Mary had a little lamb. The doctor fainted.

I was looking in the mirror and saw my reflection blink.

I wonder what Peter Tork is doing right now.

Collecting social security I'd imagine

Old McDonald had a farm. The doctor almost died.

How do you think the animals felt?

I bought a van. A big van. A very big *green* van. I shall name it...Gojira.

Michael Jackson sure could dance!

One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,

"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

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He yelled back, "Texas A & M."

"Good casserole" is an oxymoron.

I am, therefore I drink coffee.

I'd like to add a side of jumbo shrimp.

Northerns always taste muddy this time of year.

Get me the number for Perry Mason.

It's what recovered alcoholics refer to as "a moment of clarity."

And tonight, on Murder, She Wrote... another random relative of Ms. Jessica Fletcher dies under mysterious circumstances!