A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.”The man was very upset and yelled, “You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn’t come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.”The brother thought about it and apologized.“So how’s Mom?” asked the man.“She’s on the roof and won’t come down.”
Oldie but a goodie. In a similar vein: The mother of an enlisted soldier passes away. The commanding officer goes to the Drill Sergeant to tell him the news that Private Thompson's mother was dead. He asks the Sergeant, "Would you like to me tell him? I'd be happy to take care of it for you. I can have him over to my office; we can sit down and have a chat." Drill Sergeant says, "I got this." The CO says, "Are you sure? You don't want any help?" The Sergeant assures the CO that he can do it himself. After morning drills, the Sergeant lines everybody up. After the usual yelling, he finally calls out, "Everybody who has a living mother, fall out! Not so fast, Thompson!"
