Hey everybody! Hope you all are geared up for the holidays and have most, if not all, of your Christmas shopping done! I just wanted to take a moment to share some important reminders with you as we enter this season of giving. Technology has made gift giving easier than ever before. You can order one of those clocks that looks like Felix the Cat (with the eyes that go left to right)for Mom and a Hammerscissorflashspatulabrush Hammerscissorflashspatulabrush for dad from a website named for a large river in South America, have them gift wrapped and dropped shipped directly to their doorstep in Boring, Oregon without even having to sit around and waitfor them to slowly, meticulously, unwrap their gifts in so that they can save the paper. To enjoy this modern luxury, you've likely thrown some important personal/financial information out there into the wild and mysterious place known as cyberspace. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to tell you that cyberthieves are lurking around every corner waiting to jump you and steal the deed to your house (but they totally are), I'm just going to offer a few tips to consider that will help keep you a bit safer, and hopefully keep your computer crudware free this season! In fact, these tips are pretty much good year round: 1. Most Humble Greetings and Felicitations, Brother Unless you personally had dinner with the prince of Nigeria last night, anyone contacting you about his recent deposition is of no concern to you. Delete that e-mail immediately, it's a scam. In fact, if you see the word "Nigeria" in an e-mail, it's a major red flag that this is probably not on the up-and-up. 2. My Name is Friday, This is My Partner Wednesday, We Get Together on Tuesdays and Eat Sundaes In the unlikely event that you are in fact a filthy, degenerate pervert with tons of illegal pictures of minors on your computer, the FBI isn't going to send you advanced notice that they're coming to get you, nor will they offer you a chance to buy your way out of trouble. It's a virus and a scam. It's a scare tactic, and apparently it works. Don't fall for it. 3. Knock Knock -- Who's there? Land Shark! If an e-mail seems suspicious, check the address of the sender. For instance, if they say they are with the state police, but the sender is nairdowell@thief.com there's a really high likely-hood that they're phishing or scamming for information! 4. Adobe Flash Player Requires and Update! Unfortunately, this is probably going to happen ad infinitum. Just be aware that when the various programs on your computer update, they almost always have an option that you must unclick if you don't want to install some stupid toolbar or scanner. Always, always, always, read the screen before you just click "next, next, next" on updates and installs. 5. Chester A. Arthur is Really a Secret Member of the Greenback Party and He Wants to Infect All Puppies With Salmonella!! Regardless of what you think of politicians (bums, the lot of them!) and their intentions, they aren't sending out mass e-mails infected with viruses that can erase your entire hard-drive when your neighbor reads their e-mail on the Winter Solstice. Seriously, viruses can do some nasty things, and there are some real jerks out there, but most of the people writing crudware are in it to extort money. How do they profit from wiping out your hard drive? When in doubt, check snopes.com. 6. My! Grandma! What Big Teeth You Have! Something weird going on friendface? friendface Somebody who's already on your friends list sending you a friend request? Or maybe they're saying something completely out of character (No Dad! I am not interested in scoring cheap v1@grA!!1! from Canada!). Their account has probably been compromised. It's a good idea to give them a call (don't e-mail them, no telling what else has been compromised) and let them know so they can start changing passwords and notifying their service providers! 7. But! I'm Saving Data Charges! Your smartphone is a computer too, and that data plan is expensive, I know (straight talk is an amazing deal, by the way) and it's really tempting to switch over to the FREE! wifi at the mall to check your bank account. Just remember, that free wifi isn't as secure as your cellphone signal is. It's probably not being sniffed, but still, it never hurts to be aware. But, Mr. Computer Guy, I still have Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus/Kwanzaa shopping to do! Do you have any tips that can help me out with that? I SURE DO: 1. Tech guys LOVE gifts from thinkgeek.com 2. Old moviesare always fun! 3. When in doubt, Green is everyone's favorite colour! You'd be surprised how many people will admit to being a size 20! (oddly enough, I'm a size 5--but I can go up to a 50!) So there you go! I know, most of it is probably common sense, but sometimes it's easy to overlook some of this stuff. Hopefully you picked up a point or two here and you'll have a safer holiday. Feel free to share this e-mail with your friends and family, especially those who are a little less tech savvy. You know which ones they are; if you don't, it's probably you.
When it comes to the wife, mother-in-law, girl friend, girl friend's mother, get someone else to find out what she wants and tell you. Otherwise, no matter what you give her, it will be the wrong thing. Always buy one size smaller than she actually needs.
I'm blessed in that my wife gives me a list of exactly what she would like, that way she's never disappointed. The list always has more than she knows she'll get, so she's never sure just what will be under the tree. Sure makes my life easier!
