Stinkers - you were warned!

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by Johnny, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Johnny

    Johnny Little Boy Blue

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.


    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

    PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

    Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

    We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.

    Velcro — what a rip off!

    A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

    Be kind your to dentist. He has fillings, too.
     
  2. GDCarrington

    GDCarrington Burma Shave

  3. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    OK, I found the "like" button. Where's the "stinks" button? :p
     
  4. Richmondesi

    Richmondesi Active Member

    I read these to my wife. She said, "those are terrible"... aptly named thread lol. Maybe I'm a simpleton, I laughed
     
    awake2shave likes this.
  5. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    I really want to comment on all of this and I don't know where to start.. it's gonna take some time..some meditation..some introspection...
     
    awake2shave likes this.
  6. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    lion-cut-1.jpg

    Ach.. too many stinkers!
     
    Johnny likes this.
  7. jeraldgordon

    jeraldgordon TSD's Mascot

    Genius! Pure genius! Loved every one of 'em!
     
  8. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    Johhny, thanks for the laugh. I love puns!! The worse they are, the better they are.
     
  9. battle.munky

    battle.munky Has the menthol.munky on his back!

    I liked them too. Everybody needs a little pun in their life!
     
  10. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    Here's another one;
    I dropped my toothpaste. I was positively crestfallen.
     
    awake2shave likes this.
  11. macaronus

    macaronus Sir Nice-a-Lot

    :happy097::happy102::rofl: etc.
    They're great!
     
    awake2shave likes this.
  12. lindyhopper66

    lindyhopper66 Well-Known Member

    I like them a lot. I just emailed them to friends.
     
  13. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Q: Why do mafiosi wear thick gold chains?

    A: So they know where to stop shaving.
     
  14. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    If they used better shaving products, maybe they wouldn't want to stop. ;)
     
  15. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    two words: laser removal. :D
     
  16. tuco99

    tuco99 Well-Known Member

    Pure corn ! Read everyone :happy097:
     
  17. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    True. But then they wouldn't get to use all the neat, fun shaving stuff.
     
  18. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    Mafiosi using Neet.. I don't know...
     
  19. PLANofMAN

    PLANofMAN Eccentric Razor Collector Staff Member

    Moderator Article Team
    I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
     
  20. Sara-s

    Sara-s This Pun for Hire

    Was that a wish you made when you were just a little shaver?
     

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