Tips For Northerners Moving South

Tips For Northerners Moving South​

​

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a twelve pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way - this is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the movie rental store.
7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eatin'.
8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All Y'all" is plural. "All Y'all's" is plural possessive. (Very important to know) Y'all's"
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent. Don't even try! Just try to lose the yankee twang as best ya can. Southerners will never understand the need to talk through your nose.
10. Get used to hearing, "Y'ain't from 'round here, are ya?
11. People walk and talk slower here. Get over it.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "Big ol' truck" or "Big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
14. Be advised: The "He needed killin" defense is valid here.
15. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "hey y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
16. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
17. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
18. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most miniscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the grocery store. It doesn't matter if you need anything from the store and don't ask why; it is just something you're supposed to do.
19. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
20. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. In Florida, the farther south you go, the farther north you get.
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks, and "where the ol' schoolhouse used to be," you're better off trying to find it yourself.

 

# 2 only works for some parts of the South. In South Louisiana you'd be better off using Boudreaux or Thibodaux.

# 15 is extremely true. Run for cover if you hear that phrase.

# 17... not so much. The winter clothes never come out around here.

# 20= I have been told in all seriousness that I am a Yankee because I was born in Florida.

 

I KNEW something was a little off.. but hey you are a SE convert so I forgive all that.(for the most part)

 

:signs043

 

It is all true.

Well Florida is the south, don't believe me? Go to Pensacola or as I call it LA (Lower Alabama).

 

yeah, I'd count the panhandle and extreme northern part of Florida as the South, it's close enough to 'Bama and Jawja to be Southern by osmosis, but the rest, with a few exceptions, is barely "Southern"

 

:happy102 This whole thread reminds me of a Tim Wilson comedy routine.

 

#5... Although they didn't rent movies, for several years my parents owned a small store in KY. Grocery, deli, pool hall, fishing supplies (& bait), and gas all in one stop. It was also a deer check station, and voting station. The previous owner had run taxidermy out of it as well.

Those were the good days. Before the economy went bad... that time

 

20's only half true. Once you cross into Dade County, you cease to be in the United States and enter North Cuba.

 

Southerners refer to themselves as Southerners and refer to Northerners as Northerners. However, Northerners don't refer to themselves as Northerners. We refer to ourselves strictly as people from New York, Philly, Jersey, Boston, etc.

I couldn't live in the South. I like the edge, the grit, the grime, the non-stop, big city gallantry of NYC. It's unapologetic. It's unrelenting. It's in your face. It's ever evolving. It's my kind of town.

If I had to live in the South though, I'd probably pick Atlanta, GA as my destination.

 

Tis true, when I lived in NC they always asked where I was from wit dat funny accent and I always responded PEE AYE (PA).

Something I do like is the southerns not clamming things as the south.

Like VA...
Wasn't Virginia the capitol of the Confederacy?

 

yeah, it was, but I don't consider it southern really, even though it technically is....here's my plumbline - if they have an SEC team, they're Southern!

 

What about ACC? Just take out BC.



I know the turtles play in PG county but you never been to Charles or Calvert County Maryland, if that ain't southern I don't know what is.. :happy102