Blonde Joke

Discussion in 'Clean Jokes' started by fishcrow, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. fishcrow

    fishcrow Birdman of TSD

    Q: What Did the blonde say when she open a box of Cherrios?

    A:"Oh, look ...doughnut seeds.

    Q: Why couldn't the blonde call 911?

    A: Because there's no 11 on the phone.
  2. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    I agree..the individual in this scenario does appear to lack the cognitive ability for abstraction.. live long and prosper..:happy088:
    Zilla likes this.
  3. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Didja hear the one about the blonde who got fired from the M&Ms factory? She kept throwing out the "W"s.
    asleep2shave and Zilla like this.
  4. fishcrow

    fishcrow Birdman of TSD

  5. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    As my cognition is a tad..lazy today, it took a while..probably comes from reading too many blond jokes...
  6. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    What did the blonde Klingon say?. Today is a good day to dye..:yoda2
    DLP likes this.
  7. fishcrow

    fishcrow Birdman of TSD

    How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
    She fell out of the tree:happy097:
    asleep2shave, PLANofMAN and Zilla like this.
  8. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    A guy went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
    Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes.
    She showed him the instructions on the paint can:
    "For best results, put on two coats".
  9. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

  10. fishcrow

    fishcrow Birdman of TSD

  11. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

    Ok..ok.. got another one. .How many blonde Borgs does it take to change an isolinear chip? Two.
    One to assimilate the technology and another to pour the Romulan ale...
  12. Intrigued

    Intrigued Active Member

    How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One.
    She holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her.
  13. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
    A: She got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 front paws and 1 hind leg, and was still stuck.
    asleep2shave likes this.
  14. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Oooh, one more:

    Q: How does a blonde spell Farm?
    A: E-I-E-I-O.
    johnus likes this.
  15. Slipperyjoe

    Slipperyjoe Rusty Metal Tetanus

  16. richgem

    richgem suffering from chronic clicker hand cramps

    Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
    A: They think someone is taking their picture.

    Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
    A: Because they can spell it.

    Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
    A: Toes go in first.

    Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
    A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

    Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
    A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
  17. asleep2shave

    asleep2shave Well-Known Member

    There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.

    The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.

    The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

    Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

    The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.

    The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"

    The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
  18. Robert Voss

    Robert Voss Well-Known Member

    A blind guy in a bar asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. The guy sitting next to him says, "I am 275 pounds and I am blonde. The bar tender is 250 pounds and he is blonde, the guy sitting on the other side of you is pushing 300 pounds and he is blonde....So do you still want to tell your blonde joke?" The blind guy says "not if I have to tell it three times"
  19. BamaT

    BamaT Well-Known Member

    A blonde is walking alongside a river, when she spots another blonde walking on the other side. The first blonde callers out to the second one, and asks "how do you get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up and down the river, then looks back at the first blonde, and says "you're ON the other side!"
    Slipperyjoe likes this.
  20. gorgo2

    gorgo2 geezerhood

    A blonde yells for her husband. She's angry and almost bawling. He walks into the house and asks what's wrong.

    "It's this stupid puzzle," she says. "No matter how I put the pieces together I can't get it to come out like the picture of the tiger on the box."

    He takes one look at the pile on the kitchen table and says, "It's okay, honey. First thing I want you to do is put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."

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