Apparently some professors just need to be told when they ought to retire.

Did you see the size of that chicken?

I'm too young to be this old.

That's gonna leave a mark.

You can't recycle wasted money.

It's not about the destination, it's all about the ride....

Why must I pay to drive on a freeway?

Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

I'm tired and this beer is cold...

^Thus began the first Country Song.

How many shaving brushes are too many?

How many ya got?

Too many minus one

Why is it a shipment when it goes by car and a cargo when it goes by ship?

I mustache you a question... but I'm shaving it for later.

You must cook it until it is done.

Being sick and staying home over the weekend with nothing good on TV makes for a dangerous eBay weekend.

I am picturing you sitting at a laptop, looking feverish, squinting to read the digits on the card tightly clenched in your hand.

[Gotta find that hidden spy camera.....]

Do you ever feel like you are in a movie?