A neutron goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives it to him and he asks how much he owes for it. The bartender responds "no charge".

I like that joke. I'll have to keep an ion you.

A Nuetrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve neutrinos here..". The neutrino says, "It's OK. I'm just passing through...."

You have a quarky sense of humor.

I have tried to lose weight, and every time I do, my wife gets heavier. Then, when I gain again, she loses weight.

I have a theory that what is at work here is the principle of Conservation of Weight. You never really lose weight...you just give it to someone else.

I hear that once again, Pluto has been demoted to a Dwarf Planet, and this is very upsetting, because they prefer to be called "Little Planets". I know, because I use to be an astronomer. I quit because I got stuck on the day shift...........

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve viruses here". The virus replaces the bartender and says," Now we do".

An Infectious Disease walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Infectious Diseases here". The Infectious Disease says, " Well, you're not a very good host....."
Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, " We don't serve bacteria here". One of bacteria says, " But we work here. We're staph......"

OK, I'll stop. I just hardly ever get to tell science jokes to anyone. They're not funny if you have to explain them......

I love Science jokes!

Hey.. 02:30 funny jokes are the best.

Then there is the one I heard last night on the new episode of Bones;

I don't see the point of circles

I figured someone would get around to that one.

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

Just remember:

Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.​

Matt, you're making baby penguins cry. I hope you're happy.

Oh fine, here's a penguin science joke...

Well, at least they've stopped crying .... for now.

Please go on!

What? These are jokes??? Oh man I thought they were cliff notes, I am SO gonna blow finals

Then...there was the engineer who was 6 feet tall and drowned in the lake that only averaged 5 feet in depth......ba-doom-boom////