Or the best is I was talking to so and so and I think....means her friends need to stay the heck outta my business and live their own lives. Boy did that one start a fight.
"you sure you don't want to stop for directions?" = insubordinate attempt to undermine your authority and question your infallible sense of direction. Ignore. Especially if you've passed that same house three times in a row. The modern version of this might be, "you sure you don't want to check the GPS?"
Which is the real reason that Moses and the Jews wandered the desert for 40 years. He refused to stop for directions.
Or maybe he did and some practical joker sent them the wrong way. That's my excuse for not asking a stranger for directions.
oh, and just FYI: "what are you doing?" when spoken in a slightly horrified and alarmed tone of voice, is NOT a request for information. It is actually an encoded command to "cease and desist right now, moron!" EDIT: when spoken in a more gentle tone, "What are you doing?" actually means "Let's do what I want to do."
My little gangster likes to say 'I see.' Which means you ignored what I said and did what you wanted to and are now trying to talk your way out of it with a crazy story. The. Alternate meaning is not the kidnapped by aliens story again.
Aw, those are the easy ones. Q: She asks, what do you think about this? A: Your input is really important. What do you think? (Then just repeat her answer back to her) Q: What are you going to do about it? A: Um, don't worry hon, I'll take care of it. (Eventually, when the sun rises in the West and hell freezes over) Q: Does this dress make my *** look fat? A: No, your *** makes your *** look fat. (You will get so busted for this, but it's worth it) Q: Why haven't we <insert scenario>? A: Because you were busy, remember? Q: When will you stop <insert scenario>? A: I have already stopped. See? I am not doing it now. The hard ones are: 1. "Where were you?" No matter what answer you give, you were either somewhere you really, really should not have been or you are lying. 2. "I know you had sex with that woman" Technically not a question, but there is absolutely no right answer to this one. Not even if you are completely innocent, squeaky clean, fresh scrubbed, salt of the earth and beyond reproach. 3. "When are we getting married" Translation: "I want your house, car and all your money. Now get cracking!"
