Acquisition Disorders Clinic

"They that won't be counseled cannot be helped." -Benjamin Franklin
That will be 5 cents for the consult…next patient please…

 

I'm crushed because I can't Like my own posts, particularly since my posts are better than anyone else's. This sends me into fits of fury, and then I'm forced to purchase shaving supplies to forget about my troubles. I ravage those electronic shelves of shaving goodies, and I've maxed out every credit card that I can lay my hands on. I should be thankful, because I struggled with my anger until the voices in my head told me to "Buy Now" whenever I have these feelings of extreme torment. Then, when I start to feel good, I post on The Shave Den and the cycle begins all over again.

Please Like this post and save me from my feelings of impending doom...and help me salvage my credit rating!!!!!!!

I'm, er, uh...I left my cash at home...do you accept credit cards?

Am I normal? Of course, I am.

 

So where's the issue?

 

Get out of my head. Who are you? When did the voices learn to post? Aargh

 

I've collected too many bricks. Vitos, Cella, 3p, valobra, dusy kabinett. And more then 160 soaps. But still want more.

 

The Doctor Is In
I have returned from my sabbatical and am available once more for appointments and consultations.

 

It is my professional opinion that your collection is not immoderate. I believe you are still healthy as far as your desires for more soap; however, should you begin collecting masonry bricks, please call my office immediately.

 

I'll help you with the valobra and dusy, I've wanted both, but the stars haven't aligned just right where a deal could be struck.
a brick seems like more than I'd like to store.

 

Your storage issue is easily fixed. Simply buy bigger cabinetry. Though I am uncertain if @s869010 is emotionally ready to part with those bricks yet…

 

I have been buying a lot of small brushes and razors lately - maw of London , Elgin, etc - is there something Freudian about that?

 

I don't know. Was your mother fond of small brushes?

 

Doc, I feel the need to rescue every wayward straight razor that appears on ebay. However I draw the line on any razor made in China or Pakistan.
Is this wrong? Am I being too discriminatory in my evaluations?
Now I do buy old GERMAN razors—and we're all familiar with horrible things they've done in history. I mean, just TRY and listen to an entire Kraftwerk album!

 

I want my money back

 

Analysis takes time. If you want quick and messy, go back to Mrs. Fields.

 

I think the main issue is your Messiah complex. (We're being Freudian today in deference to Mr. Bulb.) What makes you think these razors need "rescuing" or that you must be the one to "save" them?
We should look further into your preference of straight razors also. Are there no razors of other orientations in need of "rescuing"- bent razors, if you will? This would seem to tie into your disdain for Pakistani and Chinese razors given the lower quality control standards which allows for more "non-linear normative" razors to come from those regions.
Interesting pathology. We will require further sessions.

 

All you need is to have your problems push your psyche to a crisis, resulting in a multiple personality disorder. That way your other personality can register at TSD as well and like all your posts... Of course the danger here is your alternate personality might rrebel against your xAD and start selling your razors and pif your soaps behind your back. I'd keep a close eye on the classifieds if you start having trouble accounting for time or find you have mysteriously seemed to miss a shave one day.

 

Group therapy is on Thursday. Please refrain from practising armchair psychology until the time set aside for that activity. Unless of course one of your fragmented personae is a licensed psychologist, in which case: open your own clinic and stop poaching my patients!