And they probably do not like beans in their chili...just saying. I agree with this...that wasss funny.
An Open Letter to the Soap Bloomers of America: Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce once said that the way he made his martinis was to fill a glass with gin and softly whisper "Vermouth" into it. That affinity toward dryness would lead me to believe that he was likely to have been a "non bloomer".( Please do not confuse that with "late bloomer", which I would assume to be one of your members who shaves past 9 p.m.) We non bloomers subscribe to the practice of filling our mugs (you do get the double meaning there for both mug and face latherers, right?) with pucks and then just loudly enough vocalizing the word "water" into it. Therefore, as was done in 1814, I have called upon all of us who prefer to keep our soap dry until use (like the powder in our squirrel guns) to take a lil trip along with Colonel wchnu to once again defend our right to do so. We feel it to be common sense to be constant Paines in your necks. (Some of our shorter members may irritate different bodily regions). Know that we will soon be having a party (I'm thinking of serving tea) to elect or appoint our own leaders that support our cause. Afterward, I hope that our newly formed governing body will extend an olive branch (or martini olive...your choice) to you, our brethren across the sink. We hope that we may someday even form an alliance of sorts and share interests such as living creatures and nature, like Beatles and Monkees (but that's an entirely different matter). Though I don't know who our leaders will be as of yet, I myself hope to be nominated as our own Master at Arms. (I feel highly qualified, as having successfully administered and maintained a pair of them for my entire life).
It's a free country (so far). I hope that you can achieve a modicum of membership. I gracefully accept your olive branch as a gesture of goodwill. We enlightened ones always accept the unaccepted. May I suggest a suitable motto for your little club: Siccum, Magis Siccum, Arida Tantum. And as your club banner:
Thank you, esteemed President Primo, for your suggestions and dry sense of humor. However, one of the Ross gals down the road happens to be a graphic designer, and that clever little wordsmith the Jefferson boy have already selected "Brut" as both our emblem and motto (not to mention our official aftershave and sponsor).
I happen to bloom my steel cut oats! Hot water actually. I also add sufficient hydration to make a lather out of my shave soap. I refuse to dry the soap puck after using just to passify those unaccustomed to the concept of cleanliness and water.
The only water I add to my soap comes from a wet brush, I don't dry anything, not even my razor!!! I eat Cap'n Crunch original.
