Ex beer addict. How to drink only one beer on special occassions?

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Ah, go ahead and blame it on inebriation, we won't tell.

 

Thanks for the replies. What I was asking was whether I will ever reach the point in which I will just have a regular beer without thinking about it that much and whether more beers will follow. The point to which I will have a beer just for the social setting without thinking too much of it or any dependancy of it.

 

If you're a true alcoholic then no. Only you really know that answer and if not is that one beer worth finding out over?

 

How do other people then have only one beer at meetings, etc? Why aren't they called alcoholics?

 

Your profile indicates you're 21. At 21 it's hard to judge whether it's alcoholism, habit, peer pressure, or just an urge to party every night. I would recommend you abstain for 3 months or so and re-evaluate the situation.

 

Alcoholism is just one aspect of a compulsion that has an detrimental affect on your life to the point it breaks down. Are you at the breakdown point? DWI, screaming, rage, abuse? Or do you just drink a lot and can be functional. If it the latter just learn to cut back. Like you said, have one beer... How? Go to a wing or burger joint and order lunch, a beer and a glass of water. Have the beer brought out with your meal. Then enjoy it. Congrats, that's your daily beer. Repeat as needed.

Activities are not compulsive. People are. I have in laws that are alcoholics. They just switched from alcohol to bike riding so they compulsively ride for hours every day.

On the in laws and overdoing it. Just tell them you need to cut back... Leave it at that. If they drink they will understand.

 

Well now, 21 years old? Let me give you some advice I wished I had been given (and followed). Don't use alcohol.
Oh, the troubles I could've avoided.

 

As one who used to drink a lot of beer (daily) to someone who now hasn't had a drink in many years I find this thread most interesting.
I used to have an acquaintance whose life was very similar to mine with the exception that one day I quit drinking and he eventually drank and smoked himself to death and I'm not exactly sure why we each turned out the way we did. Did I have more willpower? Did he have less? Was he "addicted" and I was just a glutton? Was there something in our respective DNA's? At one point after several years he actually quit for about a year but then returned to it. I sometimes want to have a drink but I know it's best to just abstain in the same way I've given up most of my bad habits. However, I will say, the first thing I plan to do if I'm ever diagnosed with stage 4 cancer is buy a pack of cigarettes.
Let me begin by noting that because I'm biased by experience my thoughts are on the subject are varied. I line up with some of the comments and would argue with others.
As far as your girlfriend's parents are concerned (or anybody else for that matter) it's none of their business. One of the strangest things we often encounter is how opinions are shaped by culture. If you told people you quit smoking back in the 1950's they would have wondered what was wrong with you yet today it's cause for grand celebration. On the other hand if you tell people you quit drinking they always seem to whisper behind your back that they didn't know you had a "problem". Never mind the fact that no one has ever driven the wrong way on a freeway and killed a busload of children because they had one too many cigarettes. Alcohol is responsible for more grief per ounce worldwide than most any other substance so there's nothing wrong with avoiding it and probably wise to do so. Don't let anyone's reaction bother you in the least.
As far as the comments on whether you can be an "ex" or not let me say that not everyone agrees with that. You can be an ex-husband, an ex-employee, an ex-smoker (and tobacco is reputedly harder to kick than heroin), but you can't be an ex-alcoholic. I beg to differ. I'm not sure how many years it takes to become one but apparently never even though scores of people have given up alcohol and never returned. If you want to be an ex-alcoholic then go ahead and be one and be confident.
I quit smoking cold turkey. I tried to quit drinking by making every other beer non-alcoholic but that didn't work for me so eventually I just switched to non-alcoholic beer. What was hard was finding one that tasted good. Then after maybe a couple of years or so the habit of always having a beer in my hand faded and eventually I stopped buying non-alcoholic beer and today I mostly enjoy ice tea and lemonade mixed and it's now been over twenty years of no alcohol.
I don't know if I could have an occasional beer or not so I just decided not to. I never smoked three packs a day but the daily one pack routine was becoming hard on my lungs. I really love coffee and used to drink a pot a day but cut back to two cups when it started to give me problems and I strictly adhere to my limit. Shaving on the other hand is clearly an addiction that's waaaaay out of control but so far it's not been found to be hazardous to my health.
If you can have a beer now and then, then do it. If you can't figure out how to accomplish such a thing and you find yourself unable then just quit. It's like anything else. It's hard at first but the longer you do it the more natural it becomes. Talking to someone else who's quit can certainly help but don't believe you can't ever become an ex-anything.
Sorry for being so longwinded. I suppose I should write a book or something or just get off my soapbox and go buy another razor. Oh wait, I've got two more coming in the mail...

 

If you're an alcoholic, you're always recovering. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. I used to drink daily. I always wanted to go out and party, go to bars, and forget all my problems for a little while. I have spent thousands of dollars, did incredibly stupid things, embarrassed myself, my family, and my friends. I also have nothing to show for it besides those bad things that happened.

Last month I almost died. Alcohol was involved, but not the sole reason behind it. I was extremely dehydrated, fatigued, stressed, and not eating. It was a really hard time in my life and it's still ongoing. Anyway, I blacked out, bashed my head on a concrete floor, knocked myself unconscious, and possibly had a seizure. I also had to have a breathing tube put in. I had the brain activity of a chair and was borderline comatose. I woke up several hours later with stitches in my head and my body feeling like it got hit by a bus. I was unaware of this at the time, but I was fighting for my life in the ICU. Now I am afraid to drink and suffer from PTSD and depression. I don't feel like myself. I live in fear that something else could happen and that alcohol could dig its clutches into me once again and this time kill me before I make it to 25. But luckily I have a supportive family. I have drank one or two drinks a time maybe 3 or 4 times since the incident happened.

Now I am trying to dedicate my life to getting into top physical condition and cleanse my body of all the bad stuff.

It's not worth losing thousands of dollars, killing yourself, or someone else for a reason like drinking heavily. You can also burn lots of bridges like I have done several times.

Find help if you honestly want to stop drinking. Find new friends, talk to a religious figure, go to AA, go to a gym, stay away from bars and clubs. Go hiking or fishing or something.

 

Not everybody who drinks are alcoholics. I would argue even those who drink regularly aren't all alcoholics. If you decide before you go out you're only going to have one beer but end up getting hammered you might want to think about it.

 

Some of them may well be. I suggest doing what several of these people have suggested and getting some more information on the topic. Drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic. Poor behavior doesn't even make you one. Dependency does. There is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic. Just because they are functioning doesn't mean they have control over their consumption or that they are healthy...physically, mentally or emotionally. Talk to a professional about it if you have concerns. Everyone here is right. If you are an alcoholic there is no casual drinking that doesn't come with a very high risk.

 

Just tell them you stopped drinking beer because you were gaining weight, and are trying to stay in good shape. If they give you grief about that, then perhaps they are people best avoided.

 

There are way more valid reasons not to drink than there are to drink. Pick any or all of them.
-Money
-Health
-Weight
-Fasting (think Lent)
-Depression
-Anxiety
-Etc.

 

Tons of good advice above. Since I've never been much of an alcohol drinker, I don't feel I can add much, besides wishing you all the best. I'm positive that you can do it.

Oh, maybe still some advice: tell the people around you that you want to cut drinking and ask them to help you or keep an eye on you. Talking helps and that way you don't have to do it all alone.

Stay well!

 

I am in no position to give any advice on the matter. It seems I don't have the addiction gene. I smoke sometimes and I drink sometime but I can always stop without making a habit out of it.
Stay strong!

 

• Money? Unless one has a penchant for Krug champagne or Chateau Petrus wine, it doesn't cost all that much. Quality wine can be had for $10 per bottle and often much less, at least in California. Great beer can be found for $10 per six pack. One of the reasons it doesn't cost that much is that it is taken in moderation. And it had better be taken in moderation. Not to forget hard cider. Of course, if one goes swilling booze like there is no tomorrow, it quickly gets expensive. The liquor is the least of the cost, though, and there might well be no tomorrow.
• Moderate alcohol consumption has been shown to have health benefits. Heart disease, gallstones and type 2 diabetes have all been found to be less prevalent in moderate drinkers than in non-drinkers.
• Weight? Just go to the gym and work out. Alternatively, go hiking all the time. Works for me.
• I never fast. Fasting is unhealthy.
• Drinking never made me depressed or anxious. Quite the opposite.

All the above is missing the point as regards this thread, however, as they depend upon the moderate consumption of alcohol.

For heavy drinkers and those folks who cannot control their drinking, alcohol has some or all of these benefits (and none of those I noted above):

• Obesity
• Liver disease
• Untimely death
• Arrest, DUI convictions, automobile accidents, and possibly instant death
• Arrest for public drunkenness
• Arrest for disorderly conduct, if one happens to be an angry drunk
• Loss of job
• Loss of friends and family
• Homelessness
• And about a million other super crappy things

It is simple: If one can't control their drinking (i.e. is an alcoholic), then don't drink. Ever. Not even one drink, not even one drop. It's an all or nothing proposition. If someone is unable to stop drinking on their own, then he or she can still stop with a little help. Here is the little help link:

Alcoholics Anonymous

If anyone reading this needs such help, there is no shame whatsoever in clicking on the link. And there is a lot to be proud of becoming clean and sober. A lot of others have done it, so can you. If you are a recovering alcoholic, and are doing your best to stay off the booze, then more power to you. If anybody criticizes you for that, then F them and the horse they rode in on. Well, maybe not the horse. Hang in there and don't give up. You are headed in the right direction, one which will pay immense benefits in the future.

 

I was never an alcoholic. I could go forever without a drink, but when I did drink i could never stop at just one and things could get out of hand pretty quick. So one day I decided to stop drinking. I haven't had a drink in years. Now I can't drink because of all the medication I am on.
BUT here is the thing that might help you in social situations. A lot of time I have been offered alcohol and turned it down. No one has ever asked me why. People just generally aren't that rude. If they did ask I would probably just tell them I don't drink. That's it.

 

Don't drink any beer. Don't give a reason. Satisfy cravings by having a NA beer. Some people process alcohol differently. Stay strong

 

So, as @richgem can testify to (as we have and still do) joke about my love for rum, I had to step back and take a look and acknowledge that if I start drinking every day I develop a problem. I save my drinking occasions for days when I need to unwind. I'm pretty sure I could let it be a problem but I refuse to let it be. Only you know the line you can walk.