Discussion in 'Freebies' started by Hodge, Mar 5, 2015.
I'm in Nanoo Nanoo
I had to read that one twice to get it.
I'm in. From a local comedy club, dealing with an unruly person in the audience. "Hey lady, I don't come into where you work and unplug the slurpy machine"
Don't know about my favorite but this one is pretty funny!
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread, ducks love bread. -Mitch Hedberg
Not sure that I have a favorite but I like this one
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare" - Fred Allen
or this one
"The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow" - Gracie Allen
"somebody gonna get a hurt really really bad........" - Russell Peters
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
"I used to do drugs. I still do... But I used to, too." - Mitch Hedberg
'One time a guy handed me a picture, he said "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger.' - Mitch Hedberg
"Many of you need a thesaurus more than you need a constitution."
- Jim Jefferies
im in! Dane Cook, " one brother, five sisters.... dude id have to wear a tampon just to fit in."
awesome pif man!
Eddie Murphy "Gooney Goo Goo"
Sigh, Young folk
"I love lamp" - Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell)
I'm in. "Go ahead, make my day!" Clint Eastwood
The expression on the other guys face was hilarious!
Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head?
"You cant study comedy, it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude." Don Rickles.
I'm in... Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam "GOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM! It is 0600 here in Saigon... what does the "0" in 0600 stand for? Stands for Oh my God that's early!"
Robin Williams: "Canada's like a loft over a really great party; HEY, KEEP IT DOWN DOWN THERE!!!!"
"Why don't you go home to
your wife? On second thought,
why don't I go home to your
wife? Outside of the improve-
ment, she'll never notice the
Separate names with a comma.