Hi from NY

Hi!! I am joining the Shaving Den forum on behalf of my son. He recently had his 16th birthday & is just starting to shave. So far, he needs to shave about once every few weeks. But, we are having some difficulties. First of all, I am a single mom. My ex husband is a non participating father. My son is very mildly autistic. He is very verbal & is very smart (on high honor roll in school). Most people meeting him would not know he is on the autistic spectrum. He does have some social skills difficulties (participating in typical conversational back & forth flow) and some hand / eye coordination difficulties. He writes well in printing but struggles with writing in script. He has great difficulty tying his shoe laces & tends to put his shoes on & off without opening the shoe laces. He also lays his jeans down on the bed to zipper & button them before putting them on. He can't zipper & button them unless they are laid out in front of him. He does the same with a button down shirt & puts it on buttoned as one would put on a tee shirt. I still have to sometimes send him back into the shower to rinse the shampoo out of his hair when he exits the bathroom with shampoo still in his hair (in the back or sides of his head). He tends to only concentrate on the top & front of his head and I always have to remind him to wash & rinse his hair in the back & sides as well as the front & top.

Now, in the past few months, he needs to start shaving. Everytime he has to shave it is a major event. Twice, I have just resorted to bringing him to the barber for a shave since we are really struggling with it at home. I had hoped the barber would teach him how to shave, but they only use a straight razor. So, it is just me having to teach my son. When he attempts to shave himself he doesn't get any of the hair off his face. He also gets upset at the texture of the shaving cream on his hands. Many autistic kids have tactile difficulties. In my son's case, he hates the feel of any kind of cream or grease on his hands. As an aside, he only recently started to eat pizza or french fries by picking it up. He would eat it with a knife & fork in case grease got onto his hands. That is improving recently but cream is still an issue.

I have had to attempt to help him shave when he doesn't seem to get any hair off his face when shaving. All he seems to do is scrape the shaving cream off. He spends so much time stressing about the cream on his hands that he doesn't concentrate on what he is doing. The other night, I ended up putting the shaving cream on his face for him & shaving his side burn area since we were in a hurry and had already spent over half an hour in the bathroom with the shaving event.
I need to come up with solutions. He will have to shave his entire life & he needs to learn how to do it himself.
I have bought him a cartridge razor, Schick Hydro. I have no idea if that is a good one or not. I went on the internet searching for help & found this forum. I think the answer may be using a shaving soap & brush. I did find some YouTube videos, yesterday, of wet shaving that seems pretty informative to me. I was surprised to see that the men in the videos spent quite some time lathering their faces with the lathered brushes. I am not sure why they do that, but that may be the reason why my son didn't get any hair off his face when he shaved. He sort of patted a little bit of shaving cream on his face & then shaved. All that did was exactly nothing. That is when I, the other night, took the razor from him & tried to shave him myself. I have to admit, I wasn't much more successful. I did get most of the peach fuzz from his side burn area, but not all. He ended up looking in the mirror afterwards & said "Mom, you are not so good at this either". He is right. I am not. I have never shaved a face before. I found myself wondering which direction I should be doing it & how to tell my son how to do it.

I thought an electric razor may be better. But, the barber said they can be painful, too. I want to get this right, from the beginning. I don't know if the problems we are having are normal or not. But, I sure could use some help & advice. I think the shaving brush & bowl may be the answer & if my son can get the lathering part, the actual shaving will be easier.

Thanks for reading & for any help you can give me & my son.

ColetteMarie

 

ColetteMarie,

Welcome to the Den. I realize that your son may be having motor control issues with the razor.

I would suggest that you watch some videos by Mark Herro aka Mantic59 on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/user/mantic59?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase

I would watch the 5 videos on top in blue since they are starter videos.

One more thing.

Welcome to the Den.

We know you'll fit right in.

So grab yourself a comfy chair,

and give our threads a spin!

Burma Shave

 

Greetings and welcome to the Shave Den. Your son might enjoy using a brush and soap. The brush lathers the soap or shave cream which then is applied to the face. The brush with soap on it wakes up the whiskers to make it easier to shave.
I wish I could offer you more help, sure other members will chime in.

 

I'm pretty sure cartridge or electric shaving would be better for your son. Shaving with a DE or Strait requires concentration and patience. I'm going to let some other more experienced members chime in on this to give their advice.

 

I agree on the Straight razor use and DE/SE requires the handling of an exposed sharp edge which might not be good for your son depending upon his hand / eye coordination difficulties as stated in your first post.

For many electrics are not uncomfortable, but simply do not get close enough for a good shave. For some electrics are unbearably uncomfortable. That is really a user to user issue.

 

I'd try one of the decent but moderately priced Philips models, they're electric but on their more quality end of things. As others have said some people can easily and comfortably shave with electrics (Several of my family members swear by them and never had complaints). It could very well be worth a try for him though.

 

Agree on this. When I did use an electric, the only type that worked for me was the foil type. The rotaries did nothing but tug and pull. It still was not a smooth shave, but if you shaved everyday it would get you through most of a day.

 

Hi! Welcome to the Den.

As has been mentioned, using a DE or straight razor could prove difficult.
Using soap or cream to create a lather will eventually wind up getting the stuff on your hands at some point during the shave due to rinsing the razor after every two or three strokes.
I would recommend an electric, unfortunately I have no idea which one. Sorry.
I do hope you find something that will work for you and your son.

 

Welcome to TSD!

Using a brush to apply lather will relieve him of using his hands to apply the lather, but he will likely get lather on his hands anyway due to the messy nature of shaving cream. Spending time lathering the shaving cream creates a better lather. If the lather is too thick, the blade might get clogged with shaving cream before it even starts to cut any hair. Be sure to rinse the blade off often as well.

If you are having a hard time shaving most of the hair off, you might want to try shaving against the grain as well (going the opposite way the hair is pointing), this offers a closer shave, but for some it increases irritation so be careful. A remedy for this is to go with the grain first to remove most of the hair, and then against the grain for a closer shave.

I like Hydro's a lot, but some people don't like the goo strips that they put on them. Double edge and straight razors are more difficult to use than cartridge razors, so I would stick with those. You could try an electric razor, but all of my experiences with them have been pretty bad. It really depends on the person.

Good Luck! I'm sure you will figure something out, just stay positive.

 

Ditto to the above - and all the best to you in a challenging situation!

 

ColetteMarie, welcome. I commend you for wanting to do everything you can to help your son. We sometimes take it for granted that anyone can learn to shave without thinking about some of the complications. I've been wet shaving all of my life but without a doubt my recommendation to you is to get a wet/dry Norelco electric razor. They shave well, they are quite, and they clean up easy. You can even use them with creams or soaps if you son wants to experiment someday.

I tip my hat to you ma'am.

 

Thank you for all the words of encouragement & advice. Shaving & teaching my son how was something that never occurred to me until suddenly he was old enough to do so. Then, it was OMG, how are we going to do this??!! I have gone, in the last few months, to Target & Walmart, and roamed thru the shaving sections, looking at both electric & cartridge razors. It was all so overwhelming & I had no idea what I was looking at. So, I ended up picking a Schiek Hydro for absolutely no particular reason at all.
My son has a classmate who gave himself a really red, sore face with an electric razor last school year. When I mentioned buying & trying an electric razor, my son's response was to tell me how bad electrical razors are. Of course, his only experience with them is what his classmate told him. He also mentioned that he remembers his dad shaving with a razor (his dad & I split when he was almost 7 yrs. old) and my own dad, who died suddenly in June, also shaved with a razor. He wants to shave like he remembers both his dad & his grandfather shaving. So, I suppose we will create a modified version of wet shaving. Maybe, as he gets older & more used to shaving, he can advance. But, for now, we will start with a cartridge razor & a brush. I have been looking at shaving mugs, on the internet, & see that some have ridges inside them. I guess they are to help create a lather. I also have been looking at shaving soaps, etc. I want to learn first, how to create a lather & then teach my son. I will look at the videos recommended to me here on this thread. It never occurred to me before, but from reading thru this forum, it seems like creating a lather is somewhat of an art. So, I am about to enter a whole new work of the art of shaving. My own experience with shaving my legs has always been very generic, disposable razors & shaving cream.
My son loves to shower in really hot water. So, I think he will enjoy shaving with warm lather. I don't think he will mind the excess shaving cream getting on his hands, from the brush, as much as he would mind a larger dollop of shaving cream put right into his palm. If the shaving cream, from the brush, comes down onto his hands, it will be a different consistancy than a large pile of shaving cream directly on his hands. He is also very particular about his things, in general. I think he will have the patience to learn to do a good job, once we have the right tools, that will work for him. He is somewhat of a perfectionist and is very astute, visually. He will notice if he has done a good job shaving vs. an OK job. What I often consider fine, he will notice when things are not quite right. He has developed an interest in photography in the last 2 yrs. & sees immediately when a picture's colors are off or not as crisp as they should be. He goes to lengths to get it right or to get the right shot. I suspect he may be as astute with how well he shaves, once we get the right tools. He may not be as gifted with his hands as most, but with his eyes, he sees more than most. So, I think my job will be to help him keep himself from doing serious damage to his face, while he learns to do the job that will be visually acceptable to him.
So, now the search for the right brush, boar vs. badger and getting a good mug. I also noticed scuttles (a totally new item to me). But, I am not sure how they work. So, the education goes on. I spent several hours going thru past threads on this forum last night. I have a strong feeling that I will be coming back a lot. There is so much great info here. I had no idea such a forum existed until yesterday.
Thank you, all!!!

ColetteMarie

 

I was using a phillips rotary 3 head electric razor a couple of years ago, it was ok, rechargable and could be used wet or dry.

 

ColetteMarie,

Thanks for responding. I am glad the you will review Mark's videos because he is one of the very best at the art of shaving.

I wish you and your son the best and look through the various threads under:

http://theshaveden.com/forums/forums/the-brush.26/

http://theshaveden.com/forums/forums/shave-soaps.34/

You might want to consider another more easily cleanable cartridge razor such as the Trac II or Atra Class that are less expensive on cartridges and in my opinion do a better job because there are fewer blades not more. More than 2 blades is really a gimmick to get you to spend more.

Be sure to ask questions, because that is how everyone learns.

 

Who knows, your son my be the next shaving expert on video in the future. Full speed ahead. Here are my recommendations.

I would start with a shaving cream as they are easier to create a good lather with. Does your son like or dislike the feel of cold things on his face? That will determine where we start with a cream. What kind of smells does he like? Another determination.

I personally would send a PM to JoAnna (our Queen of Blades) as she makes some excellent creams with just about any smell under the rainbow.

I would get a brush made with badger hair as it will be smoother on his skin. Would need to know your shaving budget before making a recommendation.

If you do anything on ebay, go there and type in Old Spice shave mug. There are hundreds of them and they make a good starter mug.

Good luck

 

Another mug recommendation, and this may be the best one to start with. Google in Green Marvy Shave Mug. A lot of people sell them. They are made of a hard rubber and they will not break if dropped on the floor.

 

Here is the one that Johnny is talking about and I would second that recommendation.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0001KBP9E/?tag=thshde-20

 

I agree that an electric razor would probably be the best for my son. But, as his mother, I wonder if I should be dictating how he should shave. I realize he wants to emulate how he remembers how his father & grandfather shaved. It feels to me like it is a "man thing" and of course I am not a man. I am sure boys usually learn such things from watching the men in their lives. For me to say, "This is how we are going to do it". I am not sure. My son is not severely autistic. He has Aspergers. Most people meeting him would not know he has any form of autism. Aspergers is often called PDD (Pervasive Developmental Delay). He eventually does learn all that is delayed. Things we all grow up learning pretty easily are not so easy for kids with PDD. We all learn to tie our shoes & in our memories it was pretty much a non event. The same with learning zippers & buttons & cutting our food etc. For kids with PDD / Aspergers, these life skills are skills that take years to learn in some cases. It took several years to teach my son how to comb his hair. I don't remember having to "learn" how to comb my hair. It was something I simply adapted to at a young age. That is how these life skills become part of most of our daily lives. Not so with these kids. Everything we do on a daily basis must be actively taught. With PDD, kids are delayed pervasively (thruout most areas of development). BUT, the key is they are not delayed intellectually. They generally have average to above average IQ's. They generally have full speech but not the age appropriate social skills to interact with their own age peers effectively. More severely autistic kids are unaware that they do not interact well with their peers. They don't really attempt to. But with kids like my son, with Aspergers/ PDD, they are aware, very aware and want to interact with their peers & fit in. They do become embarrassed & self conscious, especially at my son's age. He is striving for independence & I strive to come to a good balance. I don't want to make every single decision for him.In general, kids with Aspergers / PDD have age appropriate intelligence but with life skills about 5 to 7 yrs. younger than that.
I think I am rambling here. But, I wanted to try to tell you all about my son. This shaving "thing" is a big hurtle. But, like everything else, we will get thru it. I have learned a long time ago, to ask for help when I need it. Thank God for the internet. Without it, my son & I would have had many more big bumps along the road of him growing up. My ex husband couldn't handle the job of helping my son grow up. In his eyes, kids grow up & that is that. He wasn't prepared for the many hours, months, years that it would take to help my son reach what most of us do with little effort. The key is, my son can & will get there. It just takes longer. He wants to live a completely normal life. He wants to go to college & have a job & family some day. Most kids are somewhat prepared for adult like independence at 18. My son won't be. So, he may be 25 when he has the skills & maturity of a typical 18 yr old. But, he will get there. My job is to help him get there. Then, he has the whole rest of his life ahead of him.
My daily mantra is "Progress, not perfection. Just keep moving forward"

ColetteMarie

 

Warm greetings Colette, questions are the root of learning, so ask away and we'll do our best to help. On that note I'd like to add that while I do not have personal experience working with children/teens/adults with Autism, my wife and friends do! My wife works as an independent contractor for Devereux in PA with several years experience working with children and young adults from severely afflicted to mild Asperger's. Also, our good friend Dan works at an intermediate unit and works with young adults and adults with life skills as related to Autism. Shaving is just one of the many tasks he helps his clients with! I'll send them a link to this thread to read and we'll get back with you.