Lessons in Southern English...for all y'all!

There ya go! Yer learnin' purty fast, Jeff. I 'spect the boy's 'bout ready to break out intuh real Southern talk...y'all done a real fine job a teachin' 'im.

Here's one: Jawja: noun--one of the fifty states, located southeast of South Carolina and north of Florida and east of Alabama. Example: "That purty gurl was as fine as a Jawja peach."

One more: Lawd: noun--the Almighty. Since it ain't polite to take the Lawd's name in vain, Southerners tend to politely skirt that by saying things like, "Lawd have mercy!"

 

Oh Lawd, yer all goofy as squirrels gathering nuts in the fall.... Ron, does your wife know that you are a closet poet?? It was very, very nice to have poetry created just for me on Valentine's day... I just want to be sure she doesn't chase me down with a straight razor...

That was just for me, now, ya hear!

Thank you Honey Chile...

Oh, yeah, would someone please explain those darn turnip greens and okra to us now?

 

More Southern English

Figger

Function: Noun
(1) Numbers used in arithmetic. (2) The shape or form of a thing or person.
Example: A man's gotta' know his figgers if he's gonna' guess women's weight at the county fair.

Function: Verb
(1) To calculate with numbers. (2) To conclude or decide something.
Example: Virgil Lee figgered the reason he couldn't make money buying watermelons for a $1 and sellin' them for a $1, was that he needed a bigger truck. Go figger!

 

Too badja didnt live in Charleston longer. I grew up there.

And what can be more southern than a big ole plate of grits, eh bo?

 

only if the okra is fried.:drool

 

Did somebody say grits??? Yee Haw! That's what I'm talkin' bout! I love 'em just about anyway they can cook 'em. One of my all time favorites has got to be 'Shrimp 'n Grits', and our local Puleo's restaurant is my favorite place to belly up to the table for a big bait of 'em.

And, yes siree Bob, I love grits with my breakfast too! As one Southern restauranteur said, "if you didn't want grits sir...you shouldn't have ordered breakfast!" Grits is always served with breakfast in any reputable 'stablishment claiming to serve up a Southern breakfast.

Grits....they're not just for breakfast anymore!

 

Grits :signs113 Last time I had them I remember them tasting a bit like sand.

Okay, to be fair the last time I tried grits was years ago so I very well may like them now, however just to be annoying :signs113

 

Mmmmmm....shrimp an' grits. Dang but y'all are making me hungry! (And I have a cold, too!)

Ed, I agree....fried or in a gumbo of some kind. Okra goes pretty well with grilled chicken and andouille sausage in a gumbo.

 

Girls Raised In The South

:laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042 :laugh042

 

Joanna, I sure nuff can pass as a southern European!

Jeff

 

Okay, now those grits I'm willing to go for! :love008 :happy088

 

"Proper" and "Southern English" in the same sentence? Hot damn, what'll y'all think of next?! Ham biscuits 'n grits?

 

More Southern English

Ain't

Pronunciation: Ant, Aynt, Aaant, Haint
Function: Contraction
(1) Am not, are not, is not (2) have not, has not (3) do not, does not, did not (4) and any other time you just want to say, 'no', 'negatory'!

Examples:
Say it ain't so!
It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!
If mama ain't happy...ain't nobody happy!
You ain't nuthin' but a hound dog! [Now if Elvis used it, then you know they ain't nuthin' wrong with it.]

 

Dadgum

SYLLABICATION: dad·gum
ADJECTIVE: Chiefly Southern U.S. Used as an intensive to express mild annoyance.

Example: get that dadgum pig out o' my kitchun!

 

Ron y'uins can correct my spellin' on this one.


useta could.........as in I use ta could have dun that, but my back is all tore up and now I have ta go 'round hunched over like a frog all day!!

 

oh yeah! y'uins....the eastern tennessee (knoxville) area substitution for y'all. the plural of which is y'uinses (again please feel free to correct my spellin')

 

Hot diggity dog! A Texan that can speak East Tennessee! Yore spellin' is right on the money as fer as I kin tell.

I wadn't gonna' git into local flavors of Southern English, but now that you went and brung it up, I guess that makes it legal.

 

More Southern English

Dagnab

Pronunciation: Dag-nab, Dag-nabbed, Dag-nab-it.
Function: Interjection; sometimes a Double Interjection; sometimes an Interjected Contraction; sometimes a Contracted Interjection. Usage varies according to how serious the situation is at the time.
(1) A politically correct substitution for doggone, doggoned, doggone-it when an interjection is required but canines or canine lovers are present. (2) An extremely mild substitution for darn, darned, darn it, sometimes used around your mama 'nem.

Example:
Dagnabit...that knucklehead bunch of half raised heathens that calls themselves politicians has done went and raised our dagnabbed dog tax again.

 

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... As in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large nanner puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .... And when we're "in line," .... We talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, .... All y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" .... And go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
____


SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Pentecostal
Baptist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Charleston (Chawl'stn)
Savannah (S'vanah)
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

 

Cyndi....bless you're little pea-pickin' heart for postin' The Shave Den's Guide to Southern Livin'!