King John was a bad man and a worse king
But Queen Maudie Loo could sing
When she hit the high notes
After eating her oats
All the peasants would throw a fling

King John was a bad man and a worse king
But Queen Maudie Loo could sing
When she hit the high notes
After eating her oats
It was heard all the way to Beijing

Woops, too late

Last night I ate green beans and cabbage

Sorry Erik;
We must have been typing simultaneously.
Yours was a good ending

Last night I ate green beans and cabbage
Now the wife says I must pack my baggage

Last night I ate green beans and cabbage
Now the wife says I must pack my baggage
I tried to blame our pooch

Last night I ate green beans and cabbage
Now the wife says I must pack my baggage
I tried to blame our pooch
Who had downed way too much hooch

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Last night I ate green beans and cabbage
Now the wife says I must pack my baggage
I tried to blame our pooch
Who had downed way too much hooch
But even that could not save our marriage

Sam obsessed over shaving

Sam obsessed over shaving
Razors and soap he was craving

Surrealism? Reference to a magazine about birds?
Some things are better left a mystery.

Sam obsessed over shaving
Razors and soap he was craving
but with blades by the thousands

Sam obsessed over shaving
Razors and soap he was craving
but with blades by the thousands
From constant EBay browsin'

Sam obsessed over shaving
Razors and soap he was craving
but with blades by the thousands
From constant EBay browsin'
His money he will not be saving

I wanted a house with a moat

Sam obsessed over shaving
Razors and soap he was craving
but with blades by the thousands
From constant EBay browsin'
He said "Look at the money I'm saving!"

I wanted a hose with a moat
Where my pet Loch Ness monster could float

I wanted a house with a moat
Where my pet Loch Ness monster could float
But this place is so dry

I wanted a house with a moat
Where my pet Loch Ness monster could float
But this place is so dry
Since the rain went bye-bye

I wanted a house with a moat
Where my pet Loch Ness monster could float
But this place is so dry
Since the rain went bye-bye
She can't launch her flat-bottomed boat.